


Moments of Grace

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Businessman Levi, Family Angst, High School, Loss and Grief, M/M, Mentions of Death, Single Dad Eren, Teen Pregnancy, single parent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-13 15:27:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4527366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s not going to be an easy road,” Levi said, “but the right path never is. Do you regret taking custody? Do you regret your daughter?”</p><p>“No!” Eren said, anger flashing across his face.</p><p>“Good. Remember that on the days when you’re struggling.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Accidents

He was supposed to be at Petra’s twenty minutes ago, but he’d been covered with vomit right before he stepped out the door. If it were any other day, it wouldn’t have been a problem, but today he wasn’t sure he could handle it. He couldn’t afford to be late again this week, and as it was, he was only hanging on to his enrollment by the skin of his teeth. If it weren’t for Annie—

He was dragged quite abruptly from his thoughts as he heard the screeching of tires, the crunching of metal, and the lurching of the car coming to a sudden stop. His hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles bleached white, before a fist rapped on his window. His ears were ringing, and he saw the hand moving more than hearing the noise.

“Hey, what the fuck were you doing?” the man says, his voice muffled by the window. He shakes his head a little, wondering how this day could get any worse.

_Oh shit,_ he thought, struggling to pull his seatbelt off as he opened his door, ignoring the angry shouting as he pulled the back door open and crawled in, his hands brushing over dark brown hair and checking small limbs.

“Oh, thank god,” Eren breathed, the large brown eyes and quivering lips staring back at him. “You okay, baby girl?” he crooned, undoing her carseat and pulling her out. The man who he had rear-ended was now watching them quietly, his eyes assessing them. He knew what it looked like, and the man wouldn’t be wrong.

Just instead of being a single teenage mom, he was a single teenage dad.

“Are you two okay?” the man asked, his voice much calmer than it had been when he had been shouting at Eren through the window. Eren nodded, closing his eyes and rubbing his hand up and down his daughter’s back. She was looking around curiously, no longer seeming on the verge of tears now that the shouting had stopped, content to be held by her father.

“Yeah,” Eren croaked, his voice hoarse. The fear was ebbing away, the terror and turmoil being replaced by dread, frustration, and humiliation. How was this going to look to CPS? He was already fighting tooth and nail to keep his daughter while he finished his junior and senior year; he wasn’t going to be able to explain that he had gotten lost in thought while driving with her in the car—

“Hey, breathe, you’re okay. She’s okay, just a bit shaken, but okay. In, and out. That’s it. Nothing to fret about, it’s just a fender-bender, there’s one on every block at this time of day,” the man was saying, a hand now rubbing along Eren’s back in mimicry of his own actions for his baby. His breath hitched, his shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs, the entire morning catching up to him in one hard slam to his chest.

“I fucked up,” Eren moaned, letting the stranger’s hands guide him over to the curb and sit him down. People were watching, and it made Eren’s humiliation even worse, knowing that all these people could see how much he couldn’t be a parent.

“You had an accident. It happens. Is this your first car accident?” the man asked, crouching to be eye-level with Eren. He nodded silently, knowing if he opened his mouth again he’d either start laughing or crying, neither of which would end well.

“All we have to do is exchange insurance information and contact info. The companies sucking our pockets dry with their coverage policies will hash out the rest. No one got hurt, you didn’t fuck up.”

Eren sniffed, rubbing at his eyes and nodding. He knew he was overreacting, and his face was red from both the tears and his embarrassment. Shifting the baby, he stood to open the passenger door and then the glove compartment, digging around for his insurance policy, and then handed it to the man, who already had his own in exchange. He dug out one of his school notebooks, tearing off a page of lined paper, and grabbed a pen out of his pants pocket.

He wrote down all the information, not sure what was relevant or not. He figured it was better safe than sorry, and when he finished he handed back the original to the man he now knew was Levi Ackerman.

“Do you have a phone number, in case we need to resolve anything else?” Levi asked, and Eren nodded, rattling off his cell number. Levi gave his in return, and Eren added it to the paper of insurance information. Everything seemed to be okay until he had buckled his daughter back into her carseat, sat back behind the wheel, and went to turn the engine back on.

It gave a pitiful screeching noise, before falling silent. Eren blinked, his chest feeling tight again as he tried, hoping that it was just a fluke, that his only mode of transportation—

\--was most certainly broken. There was no noise that time, just a click as the starter recognized the key, but nothing else. Eren slammed his fist into the steering wheel, resting his forehead against it tiredly.

“No, please, just don’t do this to me. Not now.”

* * *

Levi watched as the car that had run into the back of his was hooked up to the tow truck, the boy sitting on the curb with the carseat holding the small infant. The boy, Eren, looked exhausted, and Levi didn’t doubt the boy could hear the mutters of the crowd watching them.

“Reckless driving, but what do you expect from a kid?”

“With a baby in the car!”

“Irresponsible.”

“Apparently wasn’t his first accident, if you know what I mean.”

“If my son ever acted like that—”

Levi sat down beside the kid, nudging him lightly with his knee and waiting until the boy’s red-rimmed eyes met his own. Yes, he realized, the kid heard everything being said.

“Do you need a ride? My car’s working just fine, and if I have to sit here and listen to these shitty rubberneckers any longer I’m going to punch one.”

Eren cracked a small smile, a good attempt at one at least, before dropping his eyes to the ground.

“I need to take Carla to the daycare, then get to school. I’ve already missed my first two classes.”

“Which school?” Levi asked, and Eren curled in on himself a little more, as if he were preparing himself for a physical blow.

“Trost Community High,” he finally said, and Levi nodded. He didn’t think the kid was old enough to be at Maria Community College or Sina University, and Eren was probably used to the judgmental retorts of being a high-school kid with a baby.

“Well, let’s get going then. You’re daughter’s name is Carla? Pretty,” Levi said, standing up and brushing his pants off. Eren just stared up at him, confused.

“But—”

“But nothing. Shit happens, and at least you’re trying to deal with it. I’m not going to give you any more shit on top of that,” Levi cut him off, and Eren scrambled to his feet, picking up the carseat. The base was still attached, and he watched as Eren expertly got it situated in Levi’s car, testing the straps and then giving Carla a pat on her round, chubby cheeks.

“Ready to go, baby girl?” Eren asked her, and she didn’t answer, instead shoving her fist into her mouth and drooling on it. Levi felt a blossom of warmth in his chest, and he got into the driver’s seat as Eren took the passenger side.

“So, which daycare?”

“Little Titans Day Center,” Eren said, and Levi snorted.

“Of all—I know where that is. Let’s go.”

The drive over was silent, Levi not knowing what to talk about and Eren obviously reaching the end of his comfort level. He kept picking at the skin on his wrist, and Levi could see shiny patches of skin that showed this was a long-time habit.

The daycare wasn’t far from the high school, nor from Levi’s work, and when he pulled in to a parking spot he turned the car off and got out with Eren.

“You don’t have to…” Eren trailed off as Levi silently raised an eyebrow in response. Eren bit his lip, lifting the carseat out once more and following Levi into the daycare center.

“Oh! Eren! I was worried,” a voice called out as they entered, and Levi watched the redhead move out from behind the desk, coming over to engulf the boy in a tight hug. Eren hugged her back with one arm, as the other was still securely holding the carrier.

“I had a bit of a rough start this morning,” he said in reply.

“You could say that again,” Levi muttered, and the redhead turned her sights on him.

“Levi! This is a surprise,” she said, confusion crossing her face. She glanced between the two, and Levi sighed as the silence dragged on.

“He rear-ended me and killed his car. I offered him a ride.”

“Oh, is everyone okay?” she asked, and Eren nodded.

“Yeah, we’re all fine.”

An unintelligible shout had Levi tensing in preparation for the arms wrapping around him, lifting him bodily from the ground as the owner of the daycare latched on to him, resting their chin on the crown of his head.

“You never come visit me anymore! And you came with Eren! Hi, Eren!” Hanji said, waving at the startled boy. He waved back automatically, before furrowing his brow.

“You’re scaring him,” Levi said, and Hanji laughed before letting go of Levi and straightening up, pulling their clothes back into place.

“Sorry, but really, you never do come see me anymore.”

“Because you work in a building infested with kids and germs,” Levi muttered, and Hanji made a noise of disagreement.

“I keep the germs and the kids separate, you know that!”

“They’re a two-for-one deal, you shit,” he snapped, and Hanji grinned widely.

“There’s the businessman in you! How’s work?”

“Shitty.”

“Mine too, but much more literally.”

“Eren, let me help you get Carla situated. Do you need me to call the school…” Petra said, leading Eren toward the back, her voice trailing off as the door closed behind them. Levi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes.

“So, how did you meet Eren? He’s a tough kid. Troubled, but tough.”

“He hit my car with his. His car wouldn’t start again, so I’m giving him a ride.”

“That was kind of you. He’s… been having a hard time. You’re probably one of the few people he could have hit that would do that.”

“He broke down crying after. I think he had an anxiety attack.”

“He missed the first semester of school taking care of Carla this year. He’s already going to be graduating late, and he’s only a junior.”

“The mom?” Levi asked quietly, and Hanji shook her head.

“Not in the picture. Once Carla was born, Eren had full custody. He doesn’t have family either, so it’s just him and the baby. He’s living with a friend right now, but Eren’s trying to do everything himself. Stubborn boy.”

“He’s not going to last much longer at this rate,” Levi noted. “He’s so close to burning out.”

“He doesn’t have a choice,” Hanji added. “If he slips up, he’ll lose custody. He’s barely holding on to it as it is.” At Levi’s look, they clarified, “Eren had a hard time convincing family services to let him take Carla instead of giving her to an adoption agency like the mom’s parents wanted her to do. He’s on thin ice, and you know how they treat fathers compared to mothers. If Eren were the mother, it wouldn’t be such an issue, but because Eren’s the dad…”

“They’re giving him shit about every detail. That’s why he freaked out over the accident.”

“It won’t look good,” Hanji agreed. Levi bit his lip, a sigh gusting out as he shook his head.

Their conversation came to an end as Petra led Eren back into the main lobby, an empty carseat in his hand and a reassuring pat on his back from the redhead.

“She’ll be okay, she’s only being clingy. She’ll calm down in a few minutes once she finds something to play with. You’re not a bad parent, Eren.”

“She wouldn’t stop crying, though. I feel awful,” Eren said, and Petra smiled kindly.

“She loves you, that’s what it is. You’re doing something right if she’s sad to see you leave. But she’ll learn you’re coming back. You always do. It’s something she’ll understand as she gets older. Besides, if we couldn’t handle a crying baby, we’d be out of business!” she said with a laugh, and Eren gave a feeble smile in response.

The ride to the high school was even more awkward, as Eren refused to look anywhere but the window. His lip was bleeding slightly from where teeth had finally torn through the delicate skin, his nervousness radiating enough that it was affecting Levi.

“Do you need me to go in and validate your story, in case they give you shit about it?” Levi asked, and Eren jumped at the sound of his voice.

“N- No, I should be okay. It’s not like…”

“Not like it’s anything new?” Levi said, and he brought the car to a stop at a red light. He took this chance to look over at Eren, and narrowed his eyes. “You deserve a lot more respect than you’re getting. Don’t let people treat you like shit because you’re a single father. The fact that you’re doing everything you can to raise her puts you ahead of most other teen parents in your position. Most fathers have nothing to do with their kids if they’re not married. Some of the married ones don’t have shit to do with them either.”

The light turned green, and Levi forced his attention back on to the road. The sound of traffic around them almost was enough to drown out the quiet _‘Thank you_ ’ whispered by the boy.

“I’m not one to sugarcoat shit, or lie to make you feel better. If I thought you were being a shitty parent, I’d tell you straight up. But you’re going to school, raising a baby, and god knows what else. I don’t know the circumstances, but don’t let the ignorant, judgmental assholes get to you.”

Eren nodded, eyes rimmed red again, and looking like he was going to start crying at any moment.

“No one’s ever said that to me,” Eren admitted. “Since the day I found out Carla was coming, all I’ve heard is how much I fucked up my life. How I’m going to fuck hers up. How I’m not fit to be a parent, how I ruined all my chances. How I’m not going to succeed.”

“It’s not going to be an easy road,” Levi said, “but the right path never is. Do you regret taking custody? Do you regret your daughter?”

“No!” Eren said, anger flashing across his face.

“Good. Remember that on the days when you’re struggling.”

They reached the high school at that point, and Eren hesitated with his hand on the door.

“The carseat—”

“Call me when you’re ready to get picked up. I’ll take you to check out your car after and see how much the damage is.”

“You’ve already done so much,” Eren said, biting his lip. Levi shook his head.

“You expect to lug a carseat – with its base, mind you – around town, eventually carrying a baby along with it, and hope that your car’s running by the time you reach the mechanic? I make my own schedule. I can take a couple hours to give you a ride, considering my car got the better end of the deal.”

Eren nodded, and got out of the car. Levi waited until he saw him vanish through the front doors before pulling away from the shoulder and heading toward the office.

This was not how he had planned his day starting, to say the least.

* * *

Eren made it to the last fifteen minutes of Calculus, and he was five minutes late to World History because he was getting notes on what he had missed from Calculus. He took his seat with a tired sigh, slumping in his chair and pulling his bag onto his lap, ignoring the eyes and whispers that were following his movements as he pulled out his books and pen. Levi’s word still echoed in his head, giving him the confidence boost he had been lacking to tune out their weighty stares and words.

He was trying, damn it. At least he was _here_.

Lunch followed World History, but Eren skipped it to go to the classes he had missed and grab the work he needed. When he finally pulled out the lunch he had hastily made the previous night, he was seated outside, leaning against a tree and looking up at the cloudy sky as he ate his peanut butter sandwich.

“So, this is where you decided to hide today,” he heard, and he looked over at his sort-of friend as he took a seat, his own lunch held on one of the plastic school trays and looking less appetizing than Eren’s disappointing sandwich.

“Had to get what I missed this morning,” Eren justified, taking a vigorous bite of his lunch. Jean nodded, picking at his own pasta surprise.

“I noticed you weren’t in Lit. What happened, Carla threw a fit or something?”

“No, though Carla was involved, kind of,” Eren said, and closed his eyes tiredly. Did he have enough time for a power nap? Though Jean, being the asshole he normally was, probably wouldn’t bother to wake him up when the bell rang. He couldn’t afford to miss any more classes today.

“So, what happened?” Jean prompted, when Eren was silent too long.

“I got in a car accident on the way to the daycare,” Eren said, not opening his eyes. “No one got hurt, except my car. It had to get it towed to the mechanic.”

“Whoa, that sucks.”

“Yeah. The guy I hit was really nice about it though. He gave me a lift to the daycare, and then to school. He’s going to pick me up after and take me to look at my car.”

Jean made a humming noise, and the silence enveloped them again, and Eren was on the verge of falling asleep when the bell rang, signaling that lunch was over. Eren groaned, rubbing at his eyes. Jean helped him to his feet, patting his shoulder comfortingly.

“Good luck,” Jean said, and Eren nodded.

Even if the two of them fought more than they got along, Jean was the only person he could call a friend in this entire school.

When the final bell rang, Eren dug out the scrap of paper he had written Levi’s information on and dialed the number, his hand tightening on his cell as he waited to see if it would get picked up. When he was ready to call it a loss, the sound of the ringing stopped and a smooth voice answered.

“Ackerman.”

“Uh, this is Eren, the one from this morning?” he said, his voice faltering as he realized how stupid that sounded. There was silent before a soft hum of acknowledgement came through the line.

“Oh, you’re out of class now?”

“Yeah. If you changed your mind, it’s cool, but-”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes. Wait for me where I dropped you off. Did you need to go anywhere before the daycare and the mechanic?”

“No, just those two places… Thanks, Levi. Really.” Eren swallowed the lump in his throat, his eyes prickling with gratitude, even as he rose from his desk, his teacher giving him a wave as he walked out of the classroom and into the thrum of bodies. He ignored the comments and jeers levied on him by his peers, grabbed his remaining books from his locker – that essay was due next week, and he’d put it off too long – and worked his way outside, almost heading into the parking lot before remembering that his car wasn’t going to be there, and Levi was coming instead.

He turned and headed to the front, where the buses were lined up and starting to pull away. He weaved through the line of cars and people, eyes glancing over every vehicle that looked remotely like the one Levi had driven that morning. When a sharp blare of a horn scared the shit out of him, he spun around and saw Levi standing beside his car, window down and his hand inside, pressing on the steering wheel.

Relief flooded through him; the fear that, somehow, Levi would have changed his mind disappearing. He was too used to getting the short end of the stick, of being mocked, teased, and given false hope that maybe _someone_ would care that he was a kid himself, just trying his hardest to be a dad.

Levi was the first person to follow through with his word since he picked up Carla in his arms that very first time.

Getting into the passenger seat, Eren quietly buckled himself in, his hands gripping the backpack that doubled as Carla’s diaper bag hard enough to bleach his knuckles white. He could hear people talking, wondering who the man was that Eren was with, that seemed deaf to the not-so-subtle questions Eren could hear.

“Don’t listen to their shit. They’re ignorant little snots stuck in their own bubble of ignorance,” Levi said, turning the car on. Eren nodded, jaw tight, but the resentment toward his classmates didn’t fade.

“But they’re not wrong,” Eren finally said as they pulled away from the curb, away from the stares and rumours that were forming. “That’s the thing. They’re not wrong.”

“They’re not right, either. If you let them get to you, they win. They control you, dictate your actions. You don’t have the time to allow that.”

Eren’s throat tightened as he gave a stiff nod. Levi glanced over, his lips quirking.

“You don’t believe me, and that’s fine. You’ve been through a lot of shit. I don’t know what shit, but it ended up with you having a kid right now at a time in your life where childhood and adulthood are blending together. It’s going to take more than some guy you barely know telling you things you’re not ready to believe quite yet to change your perspective on life. I get that. I’m not going to be your preacher, or your conscience. I’m merely a man helping out another in a rough patch.”

 “You’re the first,” Eren blurted out. “You’re the first person who’s ever… I mean, Annie let me move in with her, but that’s different. We’re both in a tough spot, so it’s not the same. You’re the first person who’s offered to help and, well, did.”

Silence fell in the car as Levi turned another corner, the daycare looming in the distance. When Levi pulled into the parking lot, he idled the car but didn’t turn it off. He took a deep breath, letting it out before shifting the car into park and turning to face Eren.

“There are plenty of assholes in the world. People who are quick to judge, quick to dismiss others based on a small piece of the whole puzzle. You don’t have to be one of them. Those people who’ve let you down, the way you felt when you were left wanting, remember it. Your experiences will make you a better person, if you let them.”

Eren opened his mouth to speak, but Levi held up a hand.

“I know I said I wasn’t going to preach. But, you have two ways to go forward now, Eren. You can choose to go down a bath of bitter anger, or a path of empathetic understanding. In twenty or thirty years, when you see a single teenage boy trying to comfort a crying baby, what type of person do you want to be? The one who feels like what comes around goes around, or the one who’s stepping up and asking if there’s something you can do to make their life a little less shitty?”

Eren nodded, understanding what Levi was getting at. It would be too easy to grow resentful of the people around him. In a way, he already had. He didn’t try to make friends with people he met, because his had left him. He felt… vindicated when he saw his peers having a hard time. He didn’t want to offer them what they had denied him.

But, did that make him better than them? What did he get from it?

“Okay, that’s enough of me being an old man. Let’s go get your daughter and see how your car’s doing.”

Hanji greeted them cheerfully at the entrance, pulling Eren into a hug hard enough to hurt. He was used to it by then, patting Hanji on the back until they let go.

“She was a perfect angel today, Eren. All smiles and giggles. But, I know she’s missing her daddy. Why don’t you go grab her?”

* * *

Eren was let through the door, and the sound of chaos filled the lobby before it shut, silence befalling Hanji and Levi once again.

“You’re getting in deep, aren’t you?” Hanji asked him, and Levi crossed his arms.

“He was honestly surprised I showed up. I don’t believe he expected me to keep my word.”

“He didn’t. Between you, me, and his roommate, we’re the only ones who’ve followed through on our word. There’s a lot of people out there in the world, you know that. Having three people who’ll do what they tell you isn’t much to lay your heart out for.” They bit their lip, before raising cool brown eyes to grey.

“Don’t do this if you’re not committed. Eren… he can’t handle any more. If you start being nice to him, then change your mind and drop him, he’s going to break. I won’t let you break what’s left of him, Levi. Best friend or not, I’ll hurt you.”

Levi didn’t get a chance to answer before the door opened again, Eren’s hands full of a squirming infant, babbles filling the air from behind the fist she was chewing on.

“Thank you again. I’m sorry to be such a pain,” Eren was saying, even as Petra pulled him into a hug.

“It’s not a problem, Eren. Your tests are important, and I don’t mind watching her for a few nights while you get ready for midterms. I’ll even throw in dinner. Do you need a quiet place to study?” she asked, and Eren shook his head.

“No, Annie’s going to be gone next week, a trip with Rei and Bert to visit their hometown. I’ll have the apartment to myself. But are you _sure_ she won’t be a bother? I mean, she’s starting to teethe, and she’s not going to be—”

“Eren Jaeger, I’ve been working in this daycare center for over five years. I am quite confident I can handle a fussy, grouchy six-month old for three days.” Petra crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow as if to dare Eren to question her abilities any further.

“I know. I’m just… I’m going to shut up now.”

“That’s a good idea, sweetie. Besides, don’t you have a car to check on?” Hanji cut in, and Eren nodded, looking at Levi.

“I’m ready when you are,” Eren said softly, and Levi nodded, turning to leave. Of course, Hanji had to try and get in the last word.

“Remember what I said, Levi. I’m serious.”

Levi didn’t let them have the satisfaction.

“I am, too.”

* * *

The mechanic didn’t have a good prognosis for him when they got to the shop. While the accident itself hadn’t been too bad, it had knocked loose what little was holding the car together. It had been going out long before the fender-bender, and this had been enough to finish it off.

“It’s fixable,” the man assured. “It ain’t gonna be cheap though. At least a few grand.”

Levi’s hand on his shoulder was the only thing keeping him grounded, and Eren wasn’t sure what words were leaving his mouth, but he let Levi steer him away, pushing him down into a chair and pressing Carla into his arms.

“Count to a hundred, I’ll be right back.”

Eren nodded, his mouth closing and his hand moving to support his daughter. Levi stepped away, and Eren started counting.

_One… two… three… four…_

He knew he was having an anxiety attack. The familiar sensation was enough to clue him in. But it felt different this time. Focusing on the numbers, focusing on making sure Carla was secure, focusing on the way Levi’s hands gestured as he spoke to the man standing by his car. He looked calm, in control, as if nothing the mechanic could say was too troublesome to think about. Levi’s calm started to sink into Eren, and when he hit a hundred, he felt more in control. The world wasn’t shattering around him.

Things would be okay.

Levi came back over, bending down to crouch in front of Eren.

“Your car will be fixed in a couple weeks at the most. The mechanic will be working to fix all the damages, and give it a good tuning so that it’ll keep running for a while longer.”

“I can’t afford—”

“I can,” Levi cut in. “And I’m not taking any bullshit on how I can’t do it. I was a part of the reason it’s in this condition. So, for the next two weeks, I’ll give you rides to wherever you need to go. Whether it’s to school, to the store, to the daycare, to the doctor, to the ocean, it doesn’t matter.”

“Levi—”

“I know your school lets out at two-thirty. What time do you need me to get you in the morning?”

“Levi!” Carla gave a whine, and Eren lifted her to his shoulder, patting her back soothingly, whispering apologies.

“Eren,” Levi returned, much calmer than Eren had. Eren felt tears prickling at the back of his eyes, and finally, he swallowed down the pride rearing its head.

“I try to leave by six-thirty so I can get Carla to the daycare. I have make-up work I do in the morning, for the school I missed.”

“Then I’ll be at your house waiting for you by then.”

“I can’t thank you enough—” Eren started, but then stopped, biting his lip.

“I will take thanks in the form of you doing your best. Both in your classes and in your life. The best is all you can do, so do it. You have people here to help you if you’re stumbling. Hanji, Petra, your roommate, and myself. You’re not as alone as you think you are.”

Eren nodded, tears slipping from his eyes as he squeezed them shut. Carla pressed a hand to his cheek, and he reached up and covered it with his own.

* * *

True to his word, Levi was at his apartment when Eren stepped out, locking the door with Carla in one arm and his bag in the other. Carla was still asleep, and Eren moved as carefully as possible to keep her that way. Mornings were hard for both of them, and if she could sleep through his start of the day, everyone’s day went better.

“Good morning,” Eren greeted as he opened the back door, the carseat still securely where he’d left it. He put Carla in, holding her still with one hand while he set his bag on the floor of the car, freeing both hands to snap her restraints on. By now, he was so used to doing it, it didn’t take long before he was getting into the passenger seat, hiding a yawn with his hands. A cup of coffee was thrust in his face, making him blink in confusion.

“Figured you’d need it.”

“Thanks,” Eren said quietly, taking the cup. It was still warm, the heat sinking into his skin pleasantly as he lifted it to his lips. Levi pulled out onto the street, the silence in the car comfortable and relaxed. They stayed that way until they reached the daycare, Carla still fast asleep in her carseat.

“Let’s get inside,” Levi said, his voice pitched to not disturb the slumbering infant. Eren nodded, extracting her and carrying her in the front door. Petra was there to greet him, a warm smile as she noticed the sleeping girl.

“Long night?” Petra asked quietly, and Eren smiled. It almost felt genuine, too.

“No, she slept through the night. She’s been fussy the last few nights, so she must be making up for it.”

“I’ll put her in the nap room,” Petra said, and Eren handed her over, his eyes following until she was out of sight. When the door closed behind the pair, Eren bit his lip, turning to look at Levi.

“Guess it’s time to go, then.”

“Seems so,” Levi agreed. The trip to school was quiet as well, though this time there was a tension in the air that had Eren fidgeting. Finally, he broke it.

“I still don’t get it. Why are you doing this?”

“Because you deserve it,” Levi answered, and Eren didn’t feel like this was an answer. But he had a feeling Levi wouldn’t give him what he wanted; what that was, Eren didn’t know.

“Don’t stress out about it. If I didn’t want to do this, I’d tell you straight up. I’m not the type to fuck around with people.”

Eren bit his lip, his teeth worrying at the scab that had formed there from the habit. When he got to the school, he thanked Levi again, and once again he didn’t see Levi pull away until he was inside the double doors, the morning light reflecting off of the tinted windows.


	2. Learning

Mr. Shadis met him every morning before school started to go over some of the materials he had missed during his absence. Eren had only been back a couple weeks, but there was six months of material to catch up on, and as it was, Eren knew he wasn’t going to be graduating on time. But Mr. Shadis didn’t care what Eren thought.

“The more you can accomplish, the sooner you can get back on track.”

The other teachers didn’t care as much, and as such, Eren didn’t care much for them. He did their work, but that was the extent of it. Most of what he learned was in those early hours before class, Mr. Shadis going over what Eren was struggling with. If Mr. Shadis actually cared about his grades, or was assigned to be his personal instructor by Principal Zackley, Eren didn’t know. Either way, if Mr. Shadis didn’t like him, he didn’t show it. It was enough to let Eren focus more on his work than on the teacher’s actions around him.

“Will you be sitting midterm exams next week?” Mr. Shadis asked as they wrapped up for the morning, Eren’s first class starting in ten minutes. Eren nodded, putting the binder back into his pack.

“One of the daycare workers offered to watch my daughter for the weekend before so I could do some studying uninterrupted.” Mr. Shadis was silent for a moment, regarding Eren before giving a satisfied nod.

“That’s a good idea. If you can arrange it, do it before every major test. If it cannot be arranged, let me know as soon as you can so that arrangements can be made for you to sit the test at a different time, or so you could bring your infant with you.”

“Sir?” Eren asked, his brow furrowing. Mr. Shadis gave Eren a firm look, and Eren’s mouth snapped shut.

“Having a child at your age would suggest that you are irresponsible and rash. Yet, you have been balancing your education and your parenting with traits that are contradictory to that. My goal is to have you graduated as early as possible. Mr. Jaeger, do you believe that you will be able to accomplish that goal?”

* * *

"What?" Jean asked, his jaw dropping at Eren's words. They were sitting outside again, Eren eating a bag of dry cereal as Jean ate something that was red, brown, and had black bits in it. He supposed in theory it could be considered meatloaf, but this close, Eren thought it was more lethal than anything.

"I said, Mr. Shadis is going to have me graduate early. He--" Eren cut himself off, shaking his head. "He's insane. I'm already behind. I was held back a grade for missing the finals last year, and now I've already skipped the first few months of school. I'm not graduating early. That's-- that's insane. This is insane. Tell me you agree with me."

Jean didn't answer right away, and Eren turned, scooting over to look at him directly. He didn't like the contemplative look, the thoughtful tilt to Jean’s brows. It didn't bode well for Eren.

"You _technically_ did all the work already for this year," Jean said slowly. "Missing the first few months... it's only the actual worksheets and assignments you have to catch up on. You've learned the material before."

"But I didn't finish last year! I missed the last month and a half of school!"

"Which would take you a month and a half to finish this year," Jean countered. "Then you could start working on 11th grade material. I've seen you work, you're not stupid. You could easily do twice the amount of work we're managing right now."

"Except," Eren stressed, hand clenching tightly, the cereal in his fist crunching under the pressure. "I have a daughter at home, one that requires a _lot_ of attention, and I barely manage the amount of work I'm doing _now_!"

"Bring her to a study group," Jean threw back. "Then she'd have extra sets of eyes watching to make sure she's fine, and you could get some extra studying in."

"Sure, except no one in this school aside from you will talk to me." Jean only smiled, wagging his finger back and forth.

"That's because you scare them. Stop looking like you're going to stab the next person who comes up to you, and you'd do better at making friends. Sure, some of the people here are assholes. I hear them just as well as you do. But most of us? We really don't give a shit. I mean, Sandra the Senior? She has a baby too. Tina dropped out, but she had one last year when she was a Junior. It's not like you're the first person to have a baby and go to high school."

Eren leaned back against the tree with a scowl, holding his hand out and shaking the crumbs off of his palm. What pissed him off the most was that Jean had a point. He hadn't tried to make any friends, assuming that the general consensus was the only one.

"Look. Small steps. A few of us get together at my house to do a study group once a week. Bring Carla with you. We get food, too, so bring a bag of chips or a bottle of soda, and we'll call it good. Give it a trial run, see if it works, and get the stick out of your ass--" Jean yelped as Eren threw the rest of his cereal at him.

* * *

"You're quiet today," Levi noted, watching as Eren strapped Carla into her seat. She was squirming wildly, and Eren was trying to hold her down long enough to get the buckles latched tight.

"Got a lot to think about," Eren said. He finally managed to get the chest latched and Carla began to cry, no longer able to wriggle the way she wanted. 

"Baby, don't do that," he said, fingers brushing the wisps of hair starting to grow in. "It's just for a little, honey. Let's be happy for ten minutes, okay?"

"She's fine," Levi said, getting into the driver's seat as Eren got in the other side. "She's what, half a year old? They never stop making noise at that point."

"She's normally rather quiet. I haven't been able to spend much time with her lately, and she's not liking it." Eren bit his lip. "I've had to put extra hours in for work--"

"Work?" Levi said, turning to look over at him. "When do you have time to work?"

"I work from home," Eren answered. "Annie set me up. Her boyfriends own a construction business, and I manage the books and scheduling."

"And they've been busy?"

"Yeah," Eren said with a nod. "Between that, homework, and studying for midterms, she's feeling lonely."

"Is your roommate--"

"She prefers to not get involved. She gave me a place to live, but that's all I can ask of her. Food, rent, whatever. She got me a job; it's my responsibility to not lose it." Levi hummed, and then when they pulled up to a stoplight, he turned to look directly at Eren.

"I can watch her in the evenings. You don't have to leave her alone with me, but if you need a quiet place to study, I have an office that is right off of my living room. You'll have access to a computer and the internet, as well as plenty of space to spread your books out."

"Levi--"

"Eren." The light turned green, but they didn't move. No one was behind them, and so they sat there at the intersection, and Eren was the first to look away. "Please let me help. You can't keep going like this, you'll make yourself sick. Who will take care of Carla if that happens? You need to stay healthy, to take care of yourself. Overworking yourself, overtaxing your mind and body... That's not going to help her. That's not going to help _you_."

"Why do you care?!" Eren snapped, the disbelief that had formed from talking with Mr. Shadis, and Jean, and Levi... It all exploded out as he slammed his hands down on the dash. Carla started crying in the backseat, but Eren wasn't stopping. "Why does anyone even give a shit?! This is _my life._ I'm the one that fucked myself over! Why do all of you give a fucking damn about what happens to me?! No one else has before, so why now?!"

Eren covered his face with his hands, nails digging into his forehead. He barely noticed as the car moved, but soon Levi was kneeling by the open door, his hands pulling at Eren's. Eren struggled, but the seatbelt held him secure and Levi's grip was stronger than Eren's. Soon, his hands were pinned in his lap, and Eren's shame could easily be seen by the older man.

"Because we care about you, Eren. We don't like having to sit on the sidelines, watching you struggle to manage what two mature adults barely manage to achieve. You're being a parent, while trying to finish being a child. You don't have anyone to rely on. I don't know where your parents are, or why they're not here to help, but all you have is a handful of people who you refuse to let behind the scenes and give you the support that'll keep you going." Levi's thumbs rubbed the inside of Eren's wrists, and Eren slumped forward in his seat, his head resting on the dashboard as tears dripped from his nose and chin. "You're stubborn, but that's not enough to keep you going. Stubbornness will only get you so far before you snap under the pressure."

"I don't know how," Eren said, voice thick. "I don't know how, Levi."

"I'll teach you. Come over, have dinner, and do your homework. Small steps, Eren. Let's start with tonight, and we'll see how it goes. Then, tomorrow, we'll try again. That's how you do it. One day at a time."

Carla's crying finally broke through the haze in his mind, and Eren's head snapped up, eyes wide with alarm. He twisted in his seat, looking behind him at the red, tear-stained, and distressed little girl, shame and disgust bringing bile to his throat. He'd made her cry like that. She was scared of her own father.

_That's because you scare them, Eren._ Jean's words came back to Eren, and more tears found their way down his face.

"I'm sorry, baby," he cooed, reaching back. He could only touch her toes, but soon he saw Levi in the back, the back door open as well, as he pet her head. He looked up at Eren, who had stopped talking in his confusion.

"Keep talking," Levi prompted, and Eren nodded, eyes widening.

"Carla, it's okay. Daddy's fine, I didn't mean to scare you, love." As he spoke, Levi undid the buckles of her carseat, lifting her out and cradling her as he stepped back out of the car, moving around the open door to pass her off to him. Eren took her in his arms, bringing her close to rest against his chest as he rocked back and forth, making soft cooing noises. "See? It's okay, I'm right here, you're fine. It's fine, sweetie. Everything will be okay, I promise. Ssh."

Levi's fingers stroked her head lightly, and Eren couldn't help but shed a few more tears. This man, this man who had no reason to like Eren, who had no reason to care about either of them... did. Levi should hate him; he did hit his car, after all. But instead, he'd decided that they were worth his time, his attention... And the way Levi touched Carla, as if he could see how precious she was, fingers treating her like the delicate treasure Eren believed her to be, it made a part of him not hurt. It made an ache fade, the jagged edges of his emotions dulling as he rocked his daughter back and forth in his arms, soothing both her and himself. Levi never lifted his hand, moving with the swaying motion and humming lightly under his breath.

"Good job, Eren," Levi said softly, as Carla's cries came to a stop. "Just like that."

They got back on the road after a few more minutes. Eren didn't mention that Levi was the first to ever tell him that, to say he was doing good. Eren's journey to fatherhood was entirely trial and error; he had no experiences to pull from, no one to emulate- Well, he amended, no one he _wanted_ to emulate.

Yet, Levi still believed Eren was doing okay at this. That within a year, he'd learned enough to pass himself off as a decent father. Six months to prepare for Carla, and six months of having Carla... That's all he had been given, and that's what he was working with.

"How did school go today?" Levi asked, his voice mindful of the now-sleeping baby in the backseat. Eren bit his lip.

"The teacher who's assigned to me..." Eren trailed off, before starting over. "Because of the whole missing school thing, the principal assigned a teacher to help catch me up. It's why I go in early every day. Mr. Shadis... he wants me to graduate early."

"Do you think you can?" Levi asked, and Eren shook his head.

"No. I missed finals last year, so I was held back. I didn't go to school there last year, and so my school records had me in 10th grade again, and that's where I'm at now. I also missed the start of school. I'm behind from last year, I'm behind this year... I can't graduate early, I'm not even going to graduate on time!"

He checked behind him to make sure he hadn't woken Carla back up, dropping the pitch of his voice again. "A guy I eat lunch with, Jean... He thinks I can, too. I don't get it."

"What did Jean say?"

Eren recounted the conversation, of how Jean had thought Eren could do all the extra work without a problem.

"But when would I manage to get the time?" Eren said, exasperated. "He doesn’t get it."

"No, he doesn't. But his idea of the study group is a good one." When Eren opened his mouth to argue, Levi shook his head. "Hear me out before you reject the idea."

Eren bit his lip, hands twisting into his pants as Levi turned into an unfamiliar driveway. He turned the car off, motioning for Eren to get out.

"He's offering you a way to attempt to get ahead in your workload. It's not a cure-all, but if anything, it's one night where you don't have to be torn between being a parent and being a student. If she starts fussing, someone can take her. She'll be getting attention from several sources, and she'll stay content. People are weird about babies; you probably won’t get to hold her again until you're heading home."

While he spoke, Eren got Carla out of her carseat, carefully holding her against him with one arm while he picked up his bag with the other, slinging it over his shoulder. Levi closed the door behind him, as his hands were full, and then showed Eren into the house.

"I'm not sure..." Eren swallowed roughly. "I'm not sure how I feel about them holding her." Levi slid his shoes off, taking Eren's bags from him and setting them down against the wall.

"How do you feel about me holding her?" Levi asked, and Eren hesitated. Technically, the man already had; he'd treated her gently, touched her carefully... but not hesitantly. Not timidly. His touch was sure and steady. Those hands... they wouldn't seek to hurt Carla.

"I... I trust you. I don't trust _them._ I don't know them, they're strangers."

Levi hummed, and Eren handed Carla over to free his hands. He bent down, undoing his shoelaces to slide his sneakers off. Levi's arms were steady and sure as he held her, not a trace of hesitation showing in his body.

"That's fine. You don't have to trust everyone, especially with your daughter. Do you trust your friend, Jean?"

Eren swallowed. He liked Jean; he wasn't going to deny that. Jean was his only friend at school, the only friend he had around here his own age. 

He could consider Levi a friend at this point - even if it felt different, felt inadequate after all the man has done for him. He considered Hanji and Petra to be friends, the two daycare workers a balm to his ever-hectic life. Annie was a friend as well, despite how cold they were to each other, how distant they were. But they were all older than him, were legal adults. Annie was twenty-two, the closest to him in age, but still so much older. Jean was younger than him by a year, and it was enough to make a difference.

"...I don't know. I like him, but I don't know if that's enough to trust him with my daughter."

Levi didn't argue, to Eren's surprise. Instead, he gestured toward the living room, where Eren picked his bag up and trailed along, letting Levi lead the way.

"Fair enough. That's your decision. I'm not going to say that you should or shouldn't. You need to decide that on your own." Levi sat down on one of the sofas, Eren taking the one across from him. Eren sat there, watching as Levi leaned back against the cushions, Carla's head resting on his chest with her thumb in her mouth. She was still fast asleep, content to be held and doted on even in her current state. Eren smiled softly, following Levi's example and relaxing into the cushions.

"How does stroganoff sound? It won't take too long to make."

"Anything sounds good," Eren assured, remembering the cereal he hadn't eaten for lunch, the handful he'd managed barely curbing the hunger gnawing at his stomach. He ignored the inquisitive look Levi gave him as he rose, one arm holding the baby secure. Eren rose to take her, but Levi pointed at the book bag resting near Eren's feet.

"Get started on that, I have her."

"But you're cooking--"

"I can manage to make stroganoff with one hand, I assure you," he said blandly. "If I end up needing both, I'll let you know. But we'll be good in the kitchen. Take the chance to do what you can before she wakes up."

Eren listened. He listened as Levi moved around in the other room, listened as he started talking softly when Carla woke up. But she didn't cry, just made babbling noises in response to Levi's steady stream of conversation. Listened as the man handled her with ease, never faltering, never hesitating.

Eren listened, and he would keep listening. Levi hadn't led him wrong yet.


	3. Friends

Dinner at Levi's became a regular thing. Eren's diet prior to Levi's offers never came up, but he was sure the older man knew Eren hardly ate. His body showed it clearly enough, in his too-narrow waist, the way his pants had to fight to cling to his boney hips, his wrists too defined, and how his muscles could be seen moving under his skin as he handled his daughter. But Levi didn't ask, and Eren didn't offer, and dinner was offered five times alone this week.

Despite Eren's doubts, he was making progress on his coursework. It was a week ago that Mr. Shadis had stated his intent, and already Eren was caught up to the others in his grade. Jean's reminder that Eren had already learned this, had already sat through lessons similar to the ones he attended now, had him feeling hopeful that maybe... maybe he wouldn't graduate as late as he first thought. It hadn't been easy, nights coming to an end closer to midnight than Eren was comfortable with. He knew he couldn't keep this pace up, but if he could manage it for a little longer, it would give him a running head start. 

Levi was sitting in the living room, some show playing on the television while he sat with Carla in his lap, talking to her as she stared up at him. The constant attention she was receiving, even if it wasn't from her father, was clearly appreciated. She wasn't shy in babbling, clapping her hands clumsily together in excitement as Levi told her how to properly clean blood out of clothes, contradicting the method playing on the screen.

It was a nice background noise as he studied chemical bonds, writing down formulas in response to the questions listed along the side of the page. The study group had been last night, and Eren still wasn't sure how he felt about going back. The people were nice enough, if not distant, and Carla had been content to sit in Eren's lap as he worked. She'd tried to help turn pages, but a gentle touch to her wrist often distracted her from smearing dirty hands on his textbook.

A knock on the doorframe had Eren looking up, Levi standing there with Carla resting on his hip, a spoon in his other hand. Eren's stomach gave a growl, and a small smirk found a home on Levi's lips.

"Dinner's ready. Take a break."

Eren nodded, setting his pen down gratefully as he stretched out tired hands, clenching his fists and feeling his joints pop. Standing, he stretched toward the ceiling, feeling his back pop as well, and then twisting side to side, he pulled his shirt back down where it had ridden up his stomach and gave a satisfied nod.

"A break sounds amazing," he decided, reaching out to take Carla. Levi handed her over, and Eren gave his daughter a tap on the nose, followed by a small kiss.

"Hey there, gorgeous. Did you behave for Levi?"

She made a loud squeal, reaching hands out to grasp Eren's hair and pull. He yelped, reaching up to untangle her hands, but she was determined to hold on.

"She behaved perfectly," Levi said with a straight face. Eren shot him a dirty look as he finally got her little fists free from his hair, and then shifted her to rest against his hip, cradling her with one arm while he smoothed his hair out with the other.

"So, master chef, what did you make?" Levi rolled his eyes, leading the way to the table. The last few times Eren ate here, he'd held Carla on his lap while he ate, then fed her a bottle. Today, however, he stopped short as he caught sight of the high chair, newer and cleaner than the one Eren owned at home.

"Levi," he started asking, but Levi held up a hand, his brow furrowing.

"Are you going to argue every time? If I didn't want to, I wouldn't. I'm fine with having it. The studying is going well; there's no reason to not have a seat for her. Let it go, Eren."

"I can't let it go! This--"

"-is a seat for your daughter to join us at the table, that way she's not trying to steal from your plate. You have food for her; she can play with some cereal while we finish dinner, and then you can feed her after." Levi's voice was firm, yet calm. He wasn't yelling, or scolding. He wasn't demeaning or belittling. He was _explaining,_ understanding yet consoling Eren's stubborn pride. Eren let out a harsh breath, his head tilting back in an effort to stop the tears from forming.

"God damn it, Levi. I can't figure you out."

"There isn't anything to figure out. What you see is what you get," he pointed out. Eren swallowed roughly, before tilting his head forward with a shake.

"No one is who they say they are. Who they think they are. And you? You just confuse the hell out of me."

"Fine," Levi said, gesturing to the table. "Then multitask, and be confused while you eat. The food's getting cold."

* * *

"You fucking, god damn, good for nothing son of a bitch!"

Eren's head shot up, Jean pausing mid-sentence as the voice filled the courtyard. They were eating outside again, Jean having been in the middle of talking about something regarding Marco and the computer lab being infested with spiders before they were interrupted. Eren was scrambling to his feet, having recognized the voice, and Jean was only a step behind him, despite the confusion on his face.

Eren barely had time to brace himself before hands gripped his shirt, his back slamming against the trunk of the tree and his breath knocked out of him as arms latched around him, a mess of black hair blinding him.

"I can't believe you, Eren! You just left! Didn't even say goodbye." The words were muffled against Eren's skin, but he brought his arms up to cradle her, to hug her fiercely as his mind caught up.

"Mika? What-- How--?"

"Do you know how long I've been looking for you?" she asked, pulling back. Her eyes were rimmed red, tears shining in them. Her head tilted enough to show another familiar face behind her, having stayed quiet to observe if they were welcome. Making eye contact, Armin gave a small smile.

"I... I had to go, Mika. You knew that."

"But you didn't have to run away," she countered. "The agreement was that you would move away from the city, but you didn't have to leave without telling me where you were going!"

Eren swallowed roughly, tears forming in his eyes, which didn't go unnoticed by Mikasa.

"What happened, Eren? What scared you so badly to run like that?" Armin asked, stepping up and placing a hand on Mikasa's shoulder. Eren shook his head.

"I... I didn't want them to have time to change their minds. I didn't want to lose her. I _can't_ lose her."

They were quiet, taking this in, and Jean shuffled awkwardly.

"Uhm, should I leave?" he asked, hands twisting together as his eyes darted from Eren's face to the side entrance for the science hall, where their next class would be. Mikasa jumped, just having noticed that they weren't alone.

"Oh, I'm so sorry--" she started, but Jean gave a timid smile, his lips unable to hold it in his anxious state.

"It's fine. I have no idea what you're talking about, but I get enough that Eren pulled a dick move, so go ahead and beat some sense into him. Maybe you'll get through to him. I'm going ahead to class. Will I see you there?"

Eren nodded, turning to look at Mikasa and Armin again. They should have been in classes themselves, both of them in 11th grade and definitely not on a break. He knew their schedule, having had to follow it himself once, and there was nothing to explain why they were here.

_Unless,_ his mind pointed out, _they also skipped town, to find you._

With only twenty minutes left for lunch, Eren sighed, tilting his head back to look at the sky.

"I have school. You should have school. I can't talk right now," Eren said, and he felt himself being pulled forward gently, hands resting on each side of his head to tilt his vision back to meet dark eyes.

"I know. I was excited, and had to make sure it was really you. We're going to be here for a while, so can I talk with you later? After school, or at your home?" She was calmer now, her touch much more careful and secure than it was before. It was also familiar, and his body ached to lean against her, to wrap his arms around her and never let go. Armin's hand found its way into Eren's hair, smoothing the ever-messy locks.

"I-- I don't know if I can do after school. It's a long story..." Eren murmured, his mind whirling. He could call Levi, tell him he didn't need a ride today. Except, he thought, he did. He had to go get Carla. He needed Levi to do that, even if they didn't stay for dinner. He wasn't sure if Annie would be home or not, and having Annie meet the two wasn't something he wanted to live through.

"Don't over-think this," Armin said. "I'll give you my number. Call me tonight, and we'll figure it out. I know we came unexpectedly. You shouldn't have to try and figure out how to accommodate us on the spot. You've had to do that enough with the baby."

Eren nodded, hiding his face in Mikasa's neck and giving in to the urge to hold her. She didn't push him away, her own arms coming up to return the hug just as fiercely.

"I've missed you," she whispered. "It's not the same at home without you. Hannes said to say hi."

Armin continued to stroke his fingers through Eren's hair, messing it up just to smooth it back to rights. They stayed like this, silence encompassing them, creating a pocket of solitude that could only hold the three of them. It felt like coming home.

* * *

Levi knew something had happened the moment Eren got in the car, his bag clenched tightly on his lap as they pulled back onto the road. He let the silence linger, waiting to see if the teen would speak up on his own.

He wondered how, in just a few days, he had gone from being the victim of a fender-bender to being... whatever he was. Not a father figure, as Eren didn't need that from him, but a makeshift mentor. A friend, even, if friendship could encompass the strangeness of their relationship. He was more of the hand on Eren's back, helping him stay up as he figured out how to move forward. The voice of reason to Eren's rather skewed and jaded outlook on life.

"I..." Eren's voice was soft, unsure, breaking the silence in the car. When Levi glanced over, Eren was biting his lip, brow furrowed as he struggled to come up with words.

"My friends, from back... before Carla," he continued, his voice growing a little louder, more sure of what he was saying. "They showed up at school today. They want to visit me."

"But?" Levi asked, hearing the unspoken thought.

"I don't want them to meet Annie."

Levi gave a thoughtful hum, bringing the car to a stop at the daycare center. He shifted to park, turning the engine off, but made no move to get out. Neither did Eren, fiddling with the strap of his backpack.

"Annie's-- They wouldn't approve of her. She's twenty. In a polyamourous relationship with two guys. Used to... well... She wasn't a good influence before Carla. I’ve known her since I was thirteen, since before Carla was even a possibility. My friends... they're not involved with all of that. They're good people. Annie's good, but-- she's not innocent."

Levi nodded, but didn't speak, not wanting to interrupt Eren. The boy was struggling enough to form his thoughts aloud; he didn't want to make it any harder. Eren took a shuddering breath, fists clenching, before speaking.

"But I miss them. Mika's like a sister to me. I've known her since I was nine. We grew up in a lot of the same foster homes. We weren't always in the same home, especially as we hit our teens, but... she's always been nearby, been close enough to go visit. Armin's my best friend. He's important to me. I don't want to... push them away. But I don't want to drag them into my mess. Into that world."

"Which world is that?" Levi asked quietly, and Eren smiled bitterly.

"Sex, drugs, and rock and roll?" Eren laughed, leaning his head back on the seat, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "That's how Carla came into this world. Two teens tripping out."

"You don't do that anymore, though," Levi said, not needing to ask. If Eren still used drugs, still relied on them, it would be more obvious. Eren shook his head.

"No, I don't. I stopped after Carla came into the picture. Carla's clean, she's pure. If... if our drug use hurt her, we won't know for years. But she didn't show any signs of addiction. Or... or complications. She came out perfect." The fond smile on Eren's face softened it, his body relaxing. "We didn't ruin her."

"People fuck up, Eren," Levi said. "But you're learning from those fuck-ups. You're making sure that Carla never has to suffer from them. You're moving past all of that, and I think your friends will understand that."

"Will they? Mika knew I was using, and we fought about it a lot."

"But you're not anymore. You have nothing to fight about now. Show her that. Show her the life you're building."

"Can they come over for dinner with us?" Eren blurted out, flushing and ducking his head to hide his face with the backpack. "I mean-- I don't want them to meet Annie, but you--"

"When?" Levi asked, and Eren swallowed.

"I-- I don't know--"

"Tonight. Wait longer, and you'll talk yourself out of it. I'll make extra. Get a hold of them; I'm sure they left you a way to do that. If they need a ride, we'll go pick them up. You have nothing to be ashamed of."

Eren nodded, and the conversation settled, they got out of the car. Hanji was waiting for them in the lobby, a curiousity in their eyes that didn't come out in their words or smile. All they gave was praise and reassurance, letting Eren in to grab Carla while Levi waited out front like normal.

"He looks a mess. Rough day?"

"He had a nasty surprise. Apparently, his old friends from before dropped in on him at school, and he's still rebounding from that. He'll be okay, though. We've talked about it." Hanji smiled, coming to rest a hand on Levi's shoulder. Leaning closer, they rested their head against Levi’s, watching through the little window pane in the door as Eren took the baby from Petra.

"Do you know how much you've helped him?" Hanji asked, their voice losing the teasing quality normally present. "In the week since you've known him, this is the calmest, most level-headed I've ever seen him. I've been working with him since Carla was a week old, showing him how to hold her, how to measure formula, how to give her a bath..." They didn't bother to hide the fondness as they spoke, their hand tightening on Levi's shoulder. "Even now, half a year later, he's so unsure of himself, of what he's doing. He's come a long way, that's a given, but in one week you've done what it took Petra and I months to accomplish. He's stubborn, he's prideful, and he has no self confidence. Or, he didn't until he ran into you."

Levi gave a soft hum, the door opening to reveal Eren and Carla, Petra waving farewell from inside, where other kids were heard screaming and laughing. Hanji let go of Levi, moving forward to pat Eren on the head before joining Petra in the baby warzone. Eren stared after them, confused, but was distracted as Levi beckoned him to follow.

Eren texted his friends while they drove back to the house. If it turned out they needed a ride, Levi would go pick them up while Eren kept an eye on dinner. In less than a minute, his phone gave a buzz as a new message appeared on the screen

"They have a ride," Eren said. "They just need your address."

Levi nodded, and Eren sent them the address before clenching his phone tightly, looking down at it as if it were the cause of all of his problems. Levi left him to his thoughts, not knowing what he could say to make it better. He'd said all he could. It was now on Eren to reconcile his thoughts.

* * *

Eren was nervous; Levi said he didn't mind his friends coming over, but he felt that the more time he spent with Levi, the more he was using the man. First, he used his car, then his evenings, then his  _food,_ and now he was using his home to entertain Eren's guests. The man put up with enough from him. Why didn't he just drop Eren and get on with his life? There wasn't anything Levi could possibly be getting from Eren in return for all of his help, except a headache and an empty gas tank.

Levi was playing with Carla, bringing her hands together and apart while holding them with his own, the baby watching the man move her limbs with utter fascination. Dinner was in the oven, the smell starting to permeate the house and draw forth pangs of hunger from Eren's stomach. He was reading one of the books for his Lit class, Mr. Shadis demanding he read three times as much as the required standard for his class. It was hard to focus on the story, and not on the impending visit looming, his attention wavering at every little noise.

"Take tonight for yourself," Levi insisted, after Eren dropped his book at the sound of a car passing by. "You're not going to retain anything like this."

"I'm sorry," Eren said, his voice cracking, a flush crossing his cheeks. "I just--"

"-are appropriately nervous about visiting with close friends you haven't seen for several months?" Levi finished for him, and Eren closed his mouth, swallowing roughly.

"Yeah. That."

Levi bounced Carla lightly in his lap, before picking her up to turn her to face Eren.

"All you have to do," Levi said, his voice as stern as his face, "is use this. When things seem to be going sour, draw attention to her. For some odd reason, babies make people weird. It's hard to stay angry when a baby is babbling and making faces at you."

The words, said with such sincere conviction, drew a laugh out of Eren. Carla echoed him, even if she was only laughing because Eren was. Levi's lip twitched, struggling to hold his serious façade, and when the doorbell rang a few seconds later, Eren was ready to face them. He was greeted with arms wrapped around him tightly, a face burying in his neck. Armin stood behind Mikasa once again, a relieved smile gracing his face.

"I thought-- you'd run again," she whispered against his neck. "That leaving you at the school, you'd vanish."

Eren swallowed roughly, his arms coming up to return the hug, hands rubbing her back soothingly.

"I'm sorry, Mika," he said. "I didn't mean to hurt you by leaving."

"A phone call. A letter. Fuck, I'd have taken a post-it note on my door, Eren!" she said, voice rough with building anger. "Just a sign that you were okay, of where  you would be. If something had happened, if you had died, I wouldn't have known. No one would have been able to know."

"I was stupid, I get that," Eren said, tired. He couldn't even find it in him to defend himself against her anger. "You should be used to that. It's how I got into this mess. Stupid, idiotic Eren, making more dumb mistakes and ruining his life. What's new? Did you expect anything different?"

She pulled back from him, eyes glimmering with tears as she rested a hand on his cheek.

"You're not stupid, Eren. You do dumb things, but... you're not stupid. You're reckless, impulsive, and stubborn as fuck. But not stupid. I'm sorry. I don't mean to make you feel like you are."

"I was scared, scared that the judge would change his mind, and wanted to be gone before... before anyone could take her from me," Eren confessed, hands twisting together. "Shit, I'm not even sixteen yet, and I have a seven-month old--"

"-who," Armin interrupted, "I have yet to see. Can we meet her?"

Eren nodded, his hand sliding to hold Mikasa's as he led them into the house. Levi was still sitting on the sofa, Carla facing him once again as he spoke to her, his face as serious as his tone.

"So never mix your whites and colours together. There is nothing worse than going to get ready for work and finding all of your white dress shirts have become a light shade of green. The inconsistencies from the wash don't make it attractive either. I told Mike this several times, yet he’s never learned. So, once a week I do his laundry so he can have acceptable attire for work. It saves him money by not having to go out and buy new clothes every time he ruins his. He, of course, takes care of my paperwork now--"

Eren pressed a hand over his mouth, unable to stop the laugh that snuck out at the sight. Levi looked up, eyes shining with amusement, even as his face remained stoic.

"Ah... this is Levi. He's... a friend?" He couldn't stop the way his voice rose at the end, turning the statement into a question. Levi shrugged in return, not moving to stand, but turning Carla in his lap once more so she could face out and see what was going on.

"And that's my daughter," Eren continued, his voice softening. "Her name's Carla."

Mikasa bit her lip, eyes welling with tears. Armin's eyes tightened, his hand coming to rest on Eren's shoulder and squeezing.

"She's beautiful, just like her namesake," he said quietly.

"Mom would be proud," Mikasa said, stepping forward. Levi looked to Eren, and Eren nodded his acceptance. So when Mikasa held her arms out to take Carla, the older man handed her over, and her face lit up with joy at the bright brown eyes looking back at her.

"She has your nose," Mikasa said, looking up at Eren with a wide smile. Eren nodded, stepping forward to touch the top of Carla's head, feeling the wisps of hair growing in.

"I'm hoping she doesn't get my hair. What little girl deserves that mess to deal with?" he joked. Mikasa eyed Eren's hair thoughtfully, before nodding.

"Yes, she'd be fortunate to skip that genetic lottery."

"Okay, my turn," Armin said, elbowing Eren aside and taking Carla from Mikasa. He held her up high, letting her look down at him as he studied her. Eren knew what he was looking for, and knew when he saw it. Eren saw it every time he held her, put her to sleep, fed her, dressed her.

"I only met her the once," Armin said, "but she really took after her mother, didn't she?"

"Yeah, she did." Eren couldn't help the weight that settled over him at the thought, the way his arms went across his chest protectively. Armin seemed to realize he’d stepped on a landmine, and the room fell silent, only Carla's curious babbling breaking it. Finally, Levi stood from the sofa, gesturing to the kitchen.

"Now that we've gotten all of that out of the way, let's eat. Eren, you can feed Carla in the study if you want. She looks ready to fall asleep." Eren took the escape offered, picking his bag up and taking Carla from the still-stricken Armin. When the door closed behind him, he leaned against it, closing his eyes and cradling Carla close to him. She was beginning to whine, hungry and tired.

"Ssh, Daddy has you," Eren murmured gently to her, walking further into the study. There was a small loveseat against the wall, a place to read when the office chair grew uncomfortable, and Eren sat down with her, digging through his bag for the formula. A knock on the door was the only warning Eren received before it opened, Levi entering quietly with a bottle of warm water.

"How are you doing?" he asked, handing the bottle over. Eren shifted, Carla resting in the crook of his arm as he opened the top. measuring the powder before closing it and shaking it thoroughly. Carla was starting to cry now, seeing the bottle and trying to grab for it.

"Tired. Stressed. Fed up. Take your pick," Eren said, though his words had no bite to them. He was too drained for that, and Levi seemed to notice as he didn't push it.

"Take your time. They can wait."

"I can't hide all night," Eren mumbled, and Levi shrugged.

"If you wanted to, I wouldn't blame you."

Eren's lips twitched, and Levi relaxed at the sight. Carla was grabbing for the bottle again, letting out a wail when she was unable to reach it. Eren hummed, tipping the nipple into her mouth and sliding his hand down the bottle to give her room to hold it as well, coaxing her to learn to hold the bottle herself. Her little hands grasped it tightly, struggling to hold it at an angle which let her suck the milk out, and Eren smiled down at her as he tilted it higher. Levi made no move to leave, and the question that had been building in Eren’s chest finally broke free, surging through his mind and out of his mouth.

"What are we, Levi?" Eren blurted out, the man pausing, his eyes narrowing in confusion. "Are we-- are we friends? Is this-- all of this-- is this friendship?"

"I don't know, Eren," Levi admitted. "It's more complicated than that."

"Why?" Eren asked. "Why does it have to be complicated? Why can't something be simple for once?"

Levi reached out, brushing his hands through Eren's hair, cupping the back of his neck before sighing lightly.

"Because life is never that easy," he answered. Eren leaned into his touch, eyes closing. They stayed like that, the smell of dinner filling the study, the sound of Carla drinking breaking the still silence. Neither of those things could break the peace that settled around them.

Yes, Eren thought, eyes fixed on Carla, what they had was more complicated than a friendship. But he didn't know what that meant. What did that mean for Eren, and how would that affect him? How would that affect Carla? As his daughter looked up at him with her large, brown eyes, so much like her mother's, he didn't know how to answer that. He just knew that if things didn't go well, if his whatever-it-was with Levi came to an end, it would hurt immensely. 

He knew, and it was the only thing he knew about whatever he had with Levi, that he didn't want it to end.


	4. Parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter contains discussion about death of an infant.

The day that Eren got the call, telling him that his car was working again and ready to be picked up, came with mixed feelings. On one hand, having the ability to transport himself and Carla was a relief. He always felt guilty when he had to go somewhere outside of school and home, relying so heavily on Levi’s generousity to get by every day. Which is where the mixed feelings came in. Now, with Eren’s car working again, the older man had no reason to be involved with Eren. His self-appointed duty was done; he could easily cut ties and never talk to the teenager again, if he so wished.

Eren wasn’t sure how to feel about that. In the short time he’d come to know Levi, he had grown to enjoy the man’s presence, his consistency and good humour. His calming words and rationality. But, Levi had a life before Eren – a good life, from the looks of it – and nothing good could come from keeping ties with a single teenage parent and his seven-month old baby. He couldn’t be getting anything except stress from it. The most logical course of action would be to let Eren go about his own life, and for Levi to get back to his own.

This hurt to think about, tears building in Eren’s eyes as he stared at his phone.

“You look like you’re going to cry. Did you and that chick have a fight or something?” Jean asked, leaning against Eren’s tree. Eren sniffed lightly, putting his phone away and turned his attention back to his lunch. It was leftovers from dinner with Levi, a pasta dish he couldn’t pronounce but tasted amazing. He would miss that too, his own cooking skills barely able to keep himself fed.

“Earth to Eren, you there?”

Eren blinked, his vision focusing, and he jumped as Jean’s hand waved in front of his face. Startled, eyes wide, he looked up at Jean incredulously.

“What the fuck, man?” he asked, and Jean gave him an unimpressed stare.

“I could say the same. Did you and the baby mama fight?”

“…What the ever-loving _fuck_ are you talking about?” Eren’s voice raised a few octaves, and Jean’s eyes widened, scooting away from Eren as his face flushed. “I haven’t spoken to her since the day Carla was born, as was the agreement for the fucking custody order.”

“Then who the hell was the girl who looked ready to beat you up?”

Eren took a deep breath, calming his nerves before he lashed out and gave the only guy willing to spare him half a thought at this damn school a black eye. Sitting back down and picking up his upended container, he mourned the loss of his lunch as he snapped the lid back on top, shoving it in his bag as he said, “My foster sister, you dipshit.”

Jean flushed too, clearly fed up as he yelled after Eren’s retreating back, “Well how the fuck was I to know? You never talk about yourself! It’s why you have no friends, you don’t fucking talk to anyone!”

Eren flipped him off, the tears he’d been suppressing finally spilling down his cheeks. He _did_ talk to someone. A lot. But he had no reason to be a part of Eren’s life anymore, not after today. Once Levi realized that and left, he’d be alone with only Carla to listen to him, her large brown eyes uncomprehending of the pain of being a single parent.

His mood didn’t improve by the time Levi pulled up to the curb, Eren hugging his backpack and feeling more alone than he had in months. This was the last time he’d see Levi, the last time he’d get to talk to the man. He’d be back to spending his nights alone, only Carla for company, pretending he didn’t exist in the small bedroom that Annie let him use at her apartment. To being invisible. He’d driven Jean away, the only person who talked to him at school, and he had no other friends. Hanji and Petra were the closest thing to them he had, but they were daycare workers. It wasn’t the same; they were _obligated_ to like him. Obligated to put up with him as long as he paid for Carla’s care.

Levi had to pay to be around Eren, which is why it was smart of the man to cut ties as soon as possible. Eren was a burden, one that the man didn’t have to deal with. So it made sense. With a heavy heart, he got into the passenger seat, his bag resting by his feet as he pulled the seatbelt on, unable to meet Levi’s eyes.

“I heard about your car. That’s good news. We can go take a look after we get Carla,” Levi said, and Eren nodded, biting his lip. When he didn’t respond, Levi pulled over to the side of the road, not even two blocks from the school.

“Okay, what the hell. You should be happy. This is what you’ve been waiting for.”

“I am happy,” Eren said, his voice barely a whisper of breath.

“Eren, what’s going on?” Levi asked, his tone gentling, cautiously prodding. “You’ve looked ready to cry since you got in the car.”

Eren sniffed, covering his face with his forearms, his hands grasping his hair as he bent at the waist, trying to curl in on himself. It didn’t work so well with the seatbelt biting into his neck, pinching at his skin and making the gesture painful. Levi’s hand came to rest on Eren’s back, rubbing circles against his nape as he started to sob.

“I don’t want to be alone again,” he choked out between gasps of air. “I can’t go back to that. I can’t do that again! I’m not strong enough to be alone anymore!”

He wasn’t sure when Levi got out of the car, or pulled Eren out as well, but soon he was leaning against Levi’s chest, the man rocking him back and forth as he broke down, clinging to Levi’s shirt as he let out his pain. The hand rubbing at his back, carding through his hair, holding him close during the entire meltdown, Eren would miss when Levi left. The thought had him sobbing harder, and when Levi’s hand pressed against the back of Eren’s head, his face buried in the fabric of Levi’s shirt, he could finally make out what the man was trying to say to him.

“I’m not going anywhere, Eren. I’ll still be here; you can still come over for dinner, come over and study. I’m not going anywhere. It’s okay. You’re not going to be alone. I’m not going anywhere.” Levi repeated it over and over as Eren’s sobs lessened, the hysteria that had overcome him fading, calming as the man ran a hand through his hair over and over, each pass lightly pulling the strands. It was enough to drag him away from the edge, to let his breaths steady, his eyes dry, his racing heart calm. Levi just held him close, his body rocking back and forth in a gentle swaying motion as he whispered repeatedly, “I’m not going anywhere.”

* * *

When Levi pulled up into the parking lot of the daycare, Eren’s eyes were still red and puffy, the signs of his crying spell quite prominently displayed on his face. But there wasn’t much that could fix it, and they were already running almost twenty minutes late. Hanji held their tongue as they let Eren in to get Carla, but once the door was closed, she spun on Levi with a fury that rarely ever came out.

“What happened.”

Levi held his hands up, before crossing them and frowning at the door Eren went through.

“I’m not sure. He suddenly freaked out in the car, hysterical, saying he didn’t want to be alone again. It took twenty minutes for him to calm down.” Hanji bit their lip, brow furrowing.

“Did anything major happen? Like, that he thought you’d want to leave?”

Levi nodded, not looking at Hanji as he said, “The car repairs are done. From the accident.” He added the last part at Hanji’s confusion. Their face cleared up, and a knowing look formed behind the thick-framed glasses.

“He thought you’d leave him after, now that he doesn’t need you for rides. That you’d run for the hills or something.”

“I never said I was going to,” he said, defensive. Hanji shook their head, relaxing, the anger gone.

“You wouldn’t have to. He’s convinced that no one wants to be around him, and that once the pretense of your original circumstances were no longer valid, you wouldn’t stay either. He has abandonment issues, major ones. It’s why he’s so attached to Carla, to _you_. You’ve been the most stable thing he’s had in his life for a long time.”

“I’ve only known him—” Levi’s protest was cut off rather quickly, a darkness flashing in Hanji’s eyes that he rarely ever witnessed.

“Time doesn’t matter to Eren. He’s _lonely_ , and he’s lucky you’re the one he found to latch onto, because he was getting to the point where anyone would do. _Anyone_.”

Levi understood. Not everyone had the best intentions, not everyone would see a struggling teenage father and his baby girl; they’d see an easy target. Even the thought of Levi leaving him had sent Eren over the line, his mind unable to handle the thought of being alone.

 _I can’t do that again!_ He had said that between sobs, had begged Levi to not leave, even when the man hadn’t suggested it, even hinted at it. What was going on in Eren’s head to make that the first possible outcome of having his car back? Or the better question, Levi realized, watching as Eren approached the door again, a smiling Petra behind him, what had happened to Eren to think that would be the only outcome?

“Ready?” He reached out, stroking a finger down a pudgy cheek, the baby giggling and grabbing onto Levi with a bright, toothless smile. Eren nodded, looking much calmer than he had before going into the back. Levi nodded, and Hanji waved.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” they hollered, and Levi hummed his agreement. Eren looked up at Levi, his brow furrowing.

“Why are you coming here tomorrow?”

“Do you not want me to?” Levi asked, getting into the car.

The back door opened, and as Eren secured Carla into the seat, he clarified, “I don’t get why you would be there. You don’t need to give me rides anymore, right?”

“If you would like rides in the morning and after school still, I will give them. I’m already adjusted to waking up earlier. It will save you money on gas as well. It’s your choice, but I am offering.” Eren got into the passenger seat, buckling his belt and keeping his eyes focused on his hands, on his lap, anywhere that wasn’t in Levi’s direction. He didn’t push it, letting the boy take his time to get his thoughts together, to contemplate.

“I don’t know. I’m not sure how to answer.”

“It’s an open offer. Think about it, take the time to decide. Let me know.”

Eren gave a nod, some of the tension in his body fading, and Levi felt satisfied. The drive to the mechanic’s was short, and there wasn’t much to do once they got there. Levi listened intently as the man talked them through what was fixed, what work was done, the additional work that needed to be done once the real damage was assessed – and the reason his car had been unable to start after such a small accident –and once he was content with what he heard, the payment was made and Eren was handed the key to his car.

“This should make life easier again,” Levi said, watching Eren carefully. Eren smiled slightly.

“Yeah. It will. I’ll miss-” He paused, swallowing, his hand tightening on the key.

“Nothing has to change, Eren,” Levi said, tugging Eren a little closer, letting the boy press his face against Levi’s hair. His voice dropped, aware of how sensitive Eren’s hearing was, how close his mouth was to his ear, aware of the other people in the parking lot, watching the exchange curiously. “Now all that’s different is that you can drive yourself to my house, can decide when you want to leave. If you have to run somewhere between school and dinner, you can. You’re able to make those choices, not having to think about – and I know you did – my plans and convenience. You don’t have to feel like you need to rush so I’m not waiting. If Carla’s extra fussy, you can drive her around for a little until she settles down. The only thing that changes is now we have separate vehicles.”

“I know.”

“It’s just a change. Those have never gone well for you, have they?”

“Not really,” Eren agreed. Carla let out a squeal, her hands reaching up to grab Levi’s hair, pulling hard. Eren smiled, untangling her pudgy fingers from his bangs, an apologetic smile on his face.

“Eren?”

The boy’s demeanor froze, his eyes widening and his skin paling so rapidly Levi thought he’d faint. But instead, Eren pressed Carla into his hands, quickly whispering in Levi’s ear.

“Take her. Go to your house. I’ll be—I’ll be there as soon as I can. She can’t see Carla. She _can’t_.”

Levi didn’t ask, taking Carla. Eren stepped forward to block Carla from the approaching girl, and the way brown eyes widened, filling with hurt, had pieces clicking together. Those eyes, Levi had come to know them well. Had watched them stare up at him as he discussed the best cleaning techniques, had watched them fill with tears when upset, or joy when happy. Eyes that were not from her father.

_“She really took after her mother, didn't she?”_

Levi turned, heading to his car, making sure to keep Carla cradled close. He didn’t want to leave Eren to face this alone, but he also knew that the last thing he wanted was for Carla to be caught in the middle. He didn’t dare look back, to see if Eren’s eyes were on him, if the mother’s eyes followed him leaving with their child. Their baby.

_“Two teens tripping out.”_

This wasn’t his fight. This was something Eren had to deal with, had to come to terms with.

_“I left before someone could take her from me.”_

Levi could only hope that wasn’t what she’d come for. He worried for Eren, even as he buckled Carla in and drove home.

“Don’t leave us waiting, Eren,” he said, but the boy couldn’t hear. Only Carla, who babbled, unknowing of what mess she was tangled up in.

* * *

“What are you doing here?” Eren asked, trying as hard as he could to keep the anger out of his voice. Pale hands twisted in long brown hair, nervously tugging as she bit her lip, large brown eyes staring at her shoes.

“I—I didn’t think—I didn’t mean to—Was that… was that her?”

“Answer the question, damn it! The agreement was you weren’t going to be a part of her life anymore—”

“I never wanted that! My dad wanted that. I would have been happy to let you have her, to be able to see her sometimes, to—to—I don’t know, be able to know her when—when things were different! But my dad…”

“I don’t want to fight,” he said, when the silence had stretched too long to bear with. He ran a hand through his hair, fists clenching on the shorter strands at the back as he looked at her, trying to figure out what to do. She shifted, her arms coming to wrap around her waist, hugging herself as she bit her lip.

“Let’s—let’s go somewhere. We can sit down, we can talk. But—I can’t let you see her. You know that. I could lose her if you did—I could lose her right now, just from you being here. You know that, right?”

“I… I know. I’m sorry. It really was… I’m here with Connie, actually. He’s at a job interview inside. He—he went to rehab with me, to help me get off the drugs and get off them himself. We’ve been clean for over a year now.” She bit her lip, looking up at him. “I came as support.”

“I’m glad,” Eren said. “There’s a diner close by. Do you need to tell Connie…?”

“I’ll text him. Let’s just go.”

They took Eren’s car, the silence overtaking them again as they went down several blocks, the small roadside diner only having an older couple in the back corner. They took their seats, Eren focusing on his menu until their drink orders were placed and they were left in relative privacy. He then set down the laminated paper, giving her his undivided attention.

“I don’t know what you’re expecting—”

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice quiet, hands clenched tightly around the plastic glass. Her eyes, the eyes that Carla inherited, refused to look up from her drink, and Eren didn’t know if he wanted them to or not. “I didn’t plan this… I mean, I knew you’d moved here, but I wasn’t expecting to actually—I don’t know what I was thinking. This was a bad idea.”

“It was. But it’s too late. And…” Eren trailed off, his voice going softer, a few deep, steadying breaths calming down his own anger, his own fear. “I’m glad to see you. Honest. You are—were, my friend. Whether your father likes it or not, you’ll always be the mother of my daughter. _Our_ daughter.”

She let out a sob, pressing her hand to her mouth, the other coming to clutch at her shoulder. “I miss her so much. I didn’t even get to hold her, Eren! Dad had them take her before I could even see her face.”

Eren felt his own eyes watering at the pain in her voice, being able to imagine how that felt with a sharp clarity. It was how he felt every time he thought of Carla being taken by CPS, after nightmares of the judge showing up at his door ready to snatch her away. He would wake up, screaming, trying to fight off Annie’s hand as she pinned him to the bed. Then the pain would hit, and he’d start crying, cradling Carla close as he rode through the pain.

He pulled his phone out, pulling up the picture he took of Levi and Carla napping before dinner, the man holding her against his chest with his head tilted back, open enough to see the pink of his tongue. But Carla hadn’t been asleep, looking at Eren with large, brown eyes and darkening hair, growing thicker every week that passed. It was his favourite picture, the two people who meant the world to him, and he turned it so that she could see.

“I named her Carla. Her full name is Carla Braus Jaeger. I wanted her to have your name as well, so I gave her two last ones,” his voice was thick, a tear slipping past his lashes and down his cheek. “I never wanted you completely gone from her life, not the way my parents left me.”

“She has your nose,” she whispered, her voice cracking. He smiled, reaching out and placing a hand on her arm. “She’s so beautiful.”

“Sasha, your dad can only keep you away until you’re eighteen,” Eren said. “After that, if… if you want to, we can talk about visits, becoming a part of her life. I’m not saying that—that we need to live together. Or that I’m giving her back to you. I won’t do that, and I will fight for her if that’s what you intend.”

Sasha shook her head, eyes never leaving the screen.

“I wasn’t ready to be a mother then. I couldn’t have raised her. You did what I couldn’t, what I _wouldn’t_ , and I can’t take that back now. I—I didn’t want what my father decided, but I didn’t want to be a mom.”

“I didn’t want to be a dad,” Eren said, “but Carla didn’t ask to be born. We fucked around, we fucked up. I wasn’t going to let her—“

“I’m not saying that!” she snapped, setting the plastic cup down firmly, the sound cutting through the diner. Eyes turned their way, but they both ignored the eavesdroppers. “I meant that- that I couldn’t do what you did. You didn’t want to be a dad, but you decided to be one when you found out. I gave up my rights to Carla the day she was born. I’m not going to fight you for her. You’re the father of my baby girl, and you’re my friend.”

He reached across the table, taking her hand and cupping it in his own. His hands were larger than hers, always had been.

“When… when your dad is out of the picture, when he can’t stop you, I’m willing to listen if you want to figure out some type of visitation. I want Carla to get to know you.”

“I’m not ready for that yet,” she whispered. Eren squeezed her hand tightly.

“I’m not either. We have three years to think about it. Three years to decide what we want to do about this.”

“I’m not going to marry you, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Eren laughed, and the tension snapped, Sasha breaking into laughter right after.

“Well, Sash, I wasn’t going to ask. So, now that we’ve gone and cleared _that_ up, I think it’s time I got going. I have to go get Carla fed. Do you need a ride anywhere?”

Sasha insisted she was fine, and with a parting farewell, and a long hug, they went their separate ways, Eren’s chest feeling lighter than it had in months.

* * *

It was an hour and a half after Eren told Levi to take Carla and go that he came into the house, closing the door behind him and setting his bag down near where he had taken off his shoes. Levi stood, carefully stepping over the sleeping baby, and with a hushed urgency asked, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah… it is.” Eren looked up at him, a weariness in his eyes that trickled into his body, the slouch of his shoulders, the way his head couldn’t seem to hold itself up, his feet dragging as he stepped toward Levi. Eren was easily several inches taller than Levi, but he was almost eye level at the moment, which had Levi putting a hand on his shoulder, not bothering to hide his concern.

“Are _you_ okay?”

Eren shrugged, his eyes closing as he leaned forward into Levi. He put his arm around Eren’s back, holding him steady as Eren rested his head against Levi’s shoulder, his neck growing damp from the warm exhales.

“That was Carla’s mom.”

“What was she doing there? Did she follow you?”

“Yes and no. She kind of hoped she’d see me, but wasn’t searching for me actively? Our— _her_ friend, Connie, was going in for an interview. She gave him a ride. It’s honestly… It was a coincidence. That’s all.”

“You looked ready to faint.”

“I almost did,” Eren admitted. “The custody agreement was for her to have no contact with Carla. No visits, no phone calls, pretty much a restraining order. I’m included in that. I thought… I thought that I would lose my baby. I can’t lose her. I can’t let her go up for adoption, not while I’m alive. There’s nothing worse than knowing your father’s alive out there but you have to live with foster parents instead. I refuse to be that dad. I _refuse_.”

“Eren, breathe,” Levi instructed, and Eren took a sharp breath, letting it out slowly. Levi rubbed small circles on his back, walking backwards slowly, guiding Eren into the living room. Eren followed willingly, and when Levi sat down on the sofa, Eren crawled on, using his lap as a pillow as he curled up beside him. Levi’s hand fell to Eren’s hair, stroking it lightly as they both looked at the sleeping infant on the floor.

“She’s my whole world, you know. Everything that’s worth having is right there, fits right into my arms. I’ve been miserable for as long as I can remember. I used drugs to try and find happiness. It didn’t work. Or, it did, if you count I only fucked Carla’s mom because I was tripping out and it sounded like a good idea at the time. Fuck!” Eren let out a harsh laugh, and the baby stirred. Eren went silent for a few minutes, making sure Carla was still asleep, before he spoke again.

“I never wanted kids, you know. When my mom died, and I was sent to a foster home, I told myself I’d never have kids. Because I never wanted to have my kid become like me. Become that ten-year-old with the black trash bag of belongings waiting for another set of parents to give up on him.”

Levi didn’t say anything. There wasn’t anything _to_ say. He offered what comfort he could, his fingers massaging Eren’s scalp, running through his hair and smoothing out the mess he was making.

“The worst part was my dad was still alive, but he was too busy. He and mom were separating when she—she was killed. He was at work when it happened, though, so he wasn’t blamed. No one was. I left for school, and she was alive. I came home, and she’s bleeding out on the floor… and Dad’s at work like he always is, saving other lives because his own family doesn’t matter.” Levi noticed that Eren had slipped tenses, but he didn’t blame the kid. He could picture it in his own mind, could feel the pain Eren was obviously reliving.

“He signed his rights away to me, you know. Just gave me up, said that foster parents would have more time to give me the love and attention I needed. But no one could deal with me. Said I was too much trouble, and they didn’t get paid enough to handle my problems. ‘Anger problems,’ ‘too much to handle,’ ‘concerned about his effect on the other kids,’ and other bullshit.”

“You were hurting, you wanted you father, and he wasn’t there. You were a ten year old little boy who just lost your mother and was abandoned by your father. All you wanted was someone to love you unconditionally. Of course you were a fucking handful. Anyone should have been able to connect the dots,” Levi said, his voice low, words sharp as he spat them out. “What you had was a shitty hand dealt to you. But you know what, Eren?”

Eren turned to look up at him, not bothering to hide the red, splotchy skin, the shine of tear trails and snot, the fresh tears still falling from the corners of his eyes, now running down his face and into his hair as he looked up at Levi from the older man’s lap.

“You were dealt a shitty hand, but look where you are now. You’ve  gone through a lot of shit, chose to do a lot of shit, and were given something pure and perfect, something that changed your life again. You’ve cleaned yourself up, have strived to do better, _have_ been doing much better, and it’s because you want to be the kind of father you never had. The only reason she’s sleeping on that floor right now, the only reason she’s even in your life, is because you were dealt a shitty hand, and somehow came out winning the jackpot. You had to play a lot of losing hands to get the royal flush.”

Levi reached for a tissue on the end table, wiping at Eren’s face as he finished his thought.

“I’ve only known you for a few weeks. I’m not going to pretend I know you inside and out, what goes on in your head,” he said, eyes locked with Eren. “But I can say that when your daughter is ten years old, and if you were only half the dad you are right now, you’d still be leagues beyond what any child could want or need in a parent. You’re amazing, and Carla is never going to be that ten year old with only a trash bag to her name, wondering where her daddy is. Do you understand? You’ve been doing everything you can, and it’s going to work. You have your teacher, Mr. Shadis, on your side. You have your friends. You have Hanji and Petra at the daycare. You have me. We’re all right there, willing to fight with you, if anyone thinks to contest your rights to raising Carla. I’ll fucking fight them in court if I have to, but you are going to keep your baby girl, and she’s going to fucking love you.”

“How do you know that?” Eren whispered, his voice cracking, and Levi shrugged lightly.

“Because I was that kid who everyone talked about. The boy that was too young, too rough, too unwanted. The boy who made too many mistakes, and found himself having to change his life for something bigger than what he was used to. I was the teenager who found out he was going to be a father, who had to fight to get custody of his kid because the mother wasn’t competent to raise it. Who everyone whispered about and mocked for his efforts.”

Eren’s eyes widened, his breath catching as he listened to Levi speak. The familiar, old ache rose in his chest, but it was more of an old friend at this point, one he didn’t want to see but knew how to handle, how to live with.

“Her name was Isabel, and she was beautiful, like her mother. I named her after my little sister, who had died only a few months before I found out about the pregnancy.” It had been a trigger to his behaviour, the reason he had been so reckless. “I was on a drug trip, didn’t use protection with my regular fuck buddy, and well, nine months later she’s pushing out a baby she didn’t want and I did.”

“It was like a switch turned on in my head. I was nineteen years old, holding something so precious, something I didn’t know how to take care of but had to try. Because I grew up in the system, I knew how shitty it was. I refused to let my daughter become another file.”

Eren reached up, his hand wrapping around Levi’s arm. He leaned forward, his hair framing his face, eyes drooping shut as he let himself remember the feeling of her in his arms for the first time. Something warm, living, and utterly dependent on him to survive. It had terrified him more than anything ever had, or ever would again.

“What happened?” Eren asked, voice hushed, words cautious.

“I made a mistake,” Levi said. “Her mother had been a minor, fifteen when she gave birth to Izzy. Three years later, when she was an adult, she wanted to take her shopping. I let her sometimes, because she was her mom, and she’d been doing better. Had been clean for a year, was getting her life together. I hadn’t touched a needle since the day I found out about Izzy, but… There was an accident.”

He felt his throat tighten slightly, the ache in his chest growing as he remembered getting the call, of how _angry_ he’d been, how devastated, how his world had collapsed around his ears.

“Izzy didn’t survive the car wreck. Died on impact.”

“Oh my god,” Eren whispered, and Levi’s breath hitched. “The mom?”

“A concussion and whiplash.” The silence was overwhelming, and Eren’s voice was timid, unsure, as he broke it.

“Was it drugs?”

“No, it was stress. She’d been studying like mad to get her GED, and dozed off for a second. She hadn’t checked the safety latches well enough, and Izzy fell out of the car seat when they crashed. The guilt almost killed her.”

“That could have been me,” Eren said, his own voice growing pained, horror in his eyes. “The day you hit me, I was exhausted. I was trying to get to school, and—”

“It wasn’t. I’m glad you were exhausted that day. I’m glad you decided to be such a dumbass as come to a complete stop while turning. I’m fucking glad, because I fucking got to meet you. I never got over my daughter; how can I? I’ll always miss her. She was my entire world, the reason I changed my life, gave living a real shot.”

“Levi—” Eren started, but Levi cut him off, the words flowing out of him now that they were finally leaving his head.

“I never visited Hanji at the daycare because I couldn’t look at a baby without seeing my own. Couldn’t handle hearing a child’s crying because it wasn’t _mine_. _My_ daughter was dead, six feet under, and had been for over ten years. But you?! You were my second chance, Eren. You were what _could_ have been!” His voice broke, and he didn’t bother to wipe away the tears now escaping his eyes.

“You were my second chance. If I could have done anything different. At first, anyway,” Levi’s voice softened. “It later became less about me, and more about you. You weren’t going to become another Petra and Izzy, you were Eren and Carla. You weren’t a repeat of the past. You weren’t a second chance. You were proof that all the pain, all the years without my baby girl wasn’t pointless. Now I could take that pain, that understanding, and help you, a young man going down the same road. A young man trying to change his life for the better for his own little girl.”

“You told me that once. Pick my road, what kind of person to become.”

“I became a bitter fuck,” Levi confessed. “My coworkers hate me. I insult my best friend on a regular basis. She’s my _only_ friend. You’re the first person to visit my house in five years. I stopped living after Izzy died, but you’ve given me a chance to try a third time. To not be the man I turned into. To be wanted.”

“You are wanted,” Eren choked out, reaching up and pressing his hand to Levi’s wet cheek, his own face damp. “I want you. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. I was so close to giving up. If you hadn’t hit me, I might have made it another week before it got to me and I did something stupid.”

“I know. I could see the same helplessness I felt when Izzy was that age. Where she’d never sleep, would keep me up all night when I had to work the next morning, was scrambling to try and keep us alive and keep her with me. Fighting CPS at every turn, fighting the world with every step.” Eren was sobbing softly, and Levi could feel the same desire burning in his throat, but he kept going. “I lost everything when she died. I grew bitter. But you… you were a reminder that hope still existed.”

“An angry, bitter man ran into the back of my car, but it was you who decided to stick around. You gave me hope, too.”

“We’re both fucked, then,” Levi laughed, and then it was Eren who was wrapping his arms around Levi, pressing his face into the band tee shirt as the man broke down, mourning the child he had lost, the years he had lost to his own anger and hatred, the friendships and bridges burned. He cried for the woman who had used her grief to better herself while he wasted away. He cried for the boy who had let him become a crucial part of his close-knit circle, who had let Levi be useful again, had given an old, broken man another chance.

Eren didn’t go home that night.


	5. Living

It was three in the morning when Carla woke them up with a wail, and Levi pulled at Eren’s waist, tugging him back down onto the bed while he slid out from under the covers.

“I’ve got her, get more sleep,” Levi said, and Eren gave a hum before burying his face back into the pillow. Levi ran a hand through the mess of brown hair, trailing his fingers down his bare neck and letting his hand slide away as he moved to go check on the crying girl.

She was sleeping – or, she had been – in Izzy’s old crib, now set up in the office. Now, she was screaming, her face flushed red and tears damp on her cheeks.

“Oh, little girl, what’s got you in a tizzy?” Levi murmured, scooping her up and cradling her close. She didn’t stop, her wails only getting louder now that she had gotten his attention.

“I know I’m not your daddy,” he told her, rubbing her back as he checked her diaper. “But he has to get up early tomorrow, love. Let’s give him some more time to sleep.”

Levi walked around with her, rocking her and talking in a low, steady voice. She hadn’t wanted the bottle, and she’d been clean and dry, so it was all he could do. It was a familiar routine, one he had done with Isabel many nights. He told her about the new batch of intern workers at the office, how his boss was a dick, of how annoying it was fixing other employees’ invoicing mistakes, how he’d let Mike talk him into teaching a workshop on stock investments.

Soon, she fell quiet, listening to the deep voice that wasn’t her father, but was familiar to her now. She looked up at him with watery brown eyes, and Levi looked back at her with his own heavy-lidded grey, stroking her face with a finger.

“You and your daddy, you make quite a pair,” he told her, moving to sit down on the small loveseat in the office. “You definitely get your lungs from him.”

He rocked back and forth gently, letting the swaying motion of his body help lull her to sleep, even as he kept talking to her. “I have a problem, love. A serious problem, and I don’t know what to do about it. I fell in love with your daddy.”

She didn’t answer, or react, just sniffled in her sleep. He sighed, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her forehead as he stood back up to put her back in the crib.

“I’m in love with your daddy, sweetheart, and I have no idea what to do about it.”

* * *

Eren leaned against the wall outside the office, hand over his mouth to hide the sound of his breathing. He hadn’t been able to get back to sleep, instinct demanding that he go to his daughter. His daughter, who was being rocked by Levi, who was being talked to in that low voice that had become the handle of Eren’s sanity, and had uttered those words that shook him to the core.

Love. Eren didn’t know what love was, not really. He knew his mother had loved him, but that was not the same kind of love that Levi was talking about. He hadn’t loved his father, he’d never loved Sasha, he didn’t even love Mikasa and Armin. He loved Carla; it was the only thing certain in his life. She was his entire world, the only reason he kept getting up in the morning, had a reason to move forward and face the day.

But that wasn’t true anymore. He also looked forward to seeing Levi in the morning, to going home with him after school, to having dinner with him, and talking, and being able to be around the older man. Who was always ready to be there, to give Eren a hand on his back and keep him steady when his world was falling to pieces. Who helped keep him on the narrow road of success, taking time to make sure that not only Carla was happy and cared for, but that _Eren_ was, too. He was the only one who cared about Eren, not just Carla. 

Levi, who had quickly made his way into Eren’s life, and Eren didn’t want him to go. Levi, who had said he loved him, and Eren wanted what he felt for the man to be that same emotion.

But, he was scared. He was a kid, a teenager, and he had a kid of his own. Levi was older – much older. It would ruin Levi to get involved with him, to dirty his reputation and good name by—by giving in to the feelings swirling around in his head and heart. Levi had a good life, a good job, and good friends. Eren would smear a dark stain over all of that if he let himself acknowledge the older man’s feelings, and reciprocated.

So, he didn’t go in, didn’t proclaim his love (if that’s what it was), didn’t take Levi into his arms. Instead, he quietly made his way back to the bedroom, crawled back into the now-cold bed, and cried silently into the pillow. He pretended to be asleep when Levi came back, didn’t react when he felt Levi’s arm go around his waist, and didn’t flinch when he felt a press of lips against his hair.

_I’m so fucking screwed,_ he thought, even as another tear slid down his face. _Because I love you too, Levi_.

In the week that followed, it was hard to pretend he hadn't heard anything. That he didn't know Levi loved him, that he didn't return his affection. The man gave him space, didn't question Eren's skittish actions, didn't question Eren leaving earlier than normal, putting distance between them. 

Eren didn't know if it _was_ love, or if the burning feeling in his chest was from something else. Levi was the only person who'd been there for him without any ulterior motives, who'd made his intentions clear as to what he wanted and expected. He wasn't a state-authorized provider, like Hanji and Petra. He wasn't a classmate, like Jean. He didn't grow up with him, like Mikasa and Armin. He wasn't paid to like him, like Mr. Shadis or his other teachers. 

Levi had every right to hate Eren. He'd gotten into a car wreck with him, had spent so much time and gas on taking Eren around, had paid for his car repairs, had fed him, had given him a place to study without disturbance from his daughter. Levi had become a source of comfort and reliability to Eren, had become his moments of grace between the chaos that defined his existence. 

It might not be love, and that's what Eren was afraid of. If it wasn't love, and he gave Levi the idea that it was, what would happen when it wore off? When those feelings vanished, or he came to understand what they truly were, he would have hurt Levi. Even if he didn't love the older man, he didn't want to hurt him. He cared about him. Levi had done so much to help Eren, and he wouldn't break his heart like that.

So, he buried it, even though it hurt to pull away from Levi. It hurt to start cutting the man out of his life, piece by piece, breaking his dependency on Levi's presence. There was only one person he could truly rely on, and as each day passed, he remembered that lesson. He could only rely on himself, that was all he ever could do, and it would be all he ever would do. He couldn't risk his daughter's wellbeing and future by laying his hopes and dreams on a man. Especially a man who Eren couldn't even define what he felt for. It was too risky, and Eren was done taking risks.

He wished it didn't hurt so much, though. He kept turning to say something, but then remembering that he was at home, alone with his daughter. He'd hear something at school and suddenly think, ' _Levi would love that_ ,' before remembering that he wouldn't be telling him. It was more the little things that kept throwing him off his guard, and less the obvious distance he had created. 

He'd never felt more alone than he did now. Jean still wasn't talking to him, Mikasa and Armin had gone back home, Annie was over at Reiner and Bertolt's more and more these days, and he made a point to avoid spending too long at the daycare so they didn't ask him where Levi was, or mention the man at all. Hanji seemed more and more concerned every day, but Eren merely brushed them off.

It was Saturday now, an entire week of school over, and Carla was resting on his chest, fast asleep as Eren watched Netflix. Annie was gone - again - with her boyfriends, and he had the entire house to himself for the weekend. It was why he hadn't expected the knock on the door, and when he opened it, wasn't expecting Levi to be on the other side.

"What--" Eren started, but Levi pushed his way in, hands tightly grasping Eren's shoulders.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Levi snapped, eyes dark and angry. He kept his voice pitched low, having caught sight of the sleeping baby on the blanket. "You broke down on me at the mere thought of being alone, and now you’re _avoiding_ me entirely? What the fuck, Eren?"

"I--" Eren started, but Levi didn't care. He kept going.

"I thought maybe I did something wrong, that maybe having you stay the night had scared you or something. But I'm not the only one you're avoiding, am I? When was the last time you said more than two words to Hanji, outside of ' _I'm here for Carla_?' Have you even spared Petra a glance?" Levi pushed Eren further into the apartment, not even taking his shoes off.

_He's really pissed,_ Eren thought, dazed.

"So what is it, really, Eren?" he asked, "what the fuck did I do wrong?"

"It's not you!" Eren said without thinking. Levi's face softened, and Eren bit his lip, pulling away from Levi. "It's-- it's not you. I-- I don't--"

"You got some idea stuck in your head again, blew it out of proportion, proceeded to flip your shit, and so on. Am I right, or am I beating the wrong dead horse?" Levi looked up at Eren, his face void of the anger that had darkened it just a minute ago. "Jesus, Eren. I've been freaking out for a _week_ thinking I did something wrong--"

"I don't know if I love you back," Eren blurted out, and Levi's jaw snapped shut, his face paling. Eren squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his palms over his reddening face. "I heard you-- and I didn't-- I've never--"

"Eren--"

"I'm a fuck up. A royal fuck up. I don't know what you love about me, but it can't bring you anything but grief! You have a good life, a good job, and I am not going to ruin that for you!" Eren's voice cracked, but he kept going, even as he heard Carla's whimpering, beginning to wake up from her nap.

"Eren--!"

"You deserve so much better than some idiot like me. I have baggage, I have so many issues; you don't deserve to have to put up with me and my problems day in and day out, especially because I don't know what love even feels like! If it turns out I don't love you, I'll only hurt you more and that's not fair--!" Hands wrapped around his wrists, pulling them away from his face, and forcing him down to Levi's eye level. The hands on his wrist loosened, twisting to lace their fingers together.

"Eren, did you ever think that you don't have to love me back?" At Eren's blank stare, Levi sighed. "Just because I fell in love with you, doesn’t mean you're required to do the same in return. You're not obligated to return whatever emotions I have toward you."

"But... I feel _something_ ," he whispered, his breath hitching. "But I don't know what that _is_."

"And that's fine," Levi soothed, bringing one of their joined hands to his lips, pressing a kiss against their twined knuckles. "You don't have to figure everything out at once. But _talk_ to me, Eren. Don't run away. I know it's scary, that it's a very big change. But I'm a grown man. I can listen to what you have to say and not be offended. I can handle rejection. I was more worried I lost your friendship than if you returned my affections. I can handle you not becoming my lover or my partner. I would be devastated to have you walk out of my life."

"I don't want to hurt you," Eren said, and Levi smiled gently.

"I'm willing to take the risk. If you listened properly, you would have heard me say I don't know what I'm doing either. Maybe we'll find out together, yeah?"

Carla's cries rang out loud and clear, and Eren moved to pull away. Levi, however, kept a tight grip on their hands.

"Shall we go together?" Levi asked, and Eren, tears building in his eyes even as a smile stretched his cheeks, nodded.

"Together," he agreed, and they went hand in hand into the little apartment.

* * *

"Eren Jaeger," Principal Smith called out, and Eren stepped up to the podium, taking the diploma and shaking the man's hand. He saw fingers flip the mic off, and the large man leaned in close, moving his mouth by Eren's ear.

"I knew you could do it. Good job, Eren."

Eren smiled, eyes watering, as Mr. Smith flipped the mic back on to announce the next name. Eren moved off the stage, and barely had time to step away before two sets of arms engulfed him, pulling him off balance.

"You did it!" Armin cried out, a flush on his cheeks. His eyes were wide and excited, and the expression was matched on his former foster sister's features, and he squeezed them back tighter.

"Where's Levi?" Eren asked, eyes scanning for the shorter man but not finding him. Mikasa pointed to a side door.

"Changing Carla's diaper."

"What shitty timing," Eren joked, and Armin groaned softly.

"You're picking up his sense of humour, Eren. I'm disappointed in you."

"Oh, shove it," Eren said, laughing. They moved away from the stage, giving the other graduates room to get off.

"So, did you want to stick around, or are you ready to blow this joint?" Eren asked, and Armin shrugged.

"It's _your_ graduation, not mine."

"Let's get the fuck out of here then," Levi said, coming up behind them. Carla was strapped to his chest in a fabric sling, the baby looking at everyone with wide, curious eyes. When she saw Eren, she squealed, reaching out.

"Da!" she cried, "Da! Da! Da!"

"Hey, little girl, you made Levi miss me walk the stage," he teased, bopping her on the nose with a grin.

"Yeah, shitty timing," Levi said, and Eren snorted even as Armin let out another pitiful sigh.

"That's what I said!" Eren agreed, and Levi grinned, eyeing Armin's exaggerated, put-upon distress.

"Your awful humour is rubbing off on him," the blond-haired boy cried out, and Levi shrugged.

"It's not the only thing I’m rubbing off on him."

"Levi!" three sets of voices cried out, and Carla followed seconds later, high-pitched and excited.

"Lebbuh!"

"Oh!" Eren said, embarrassment gone, his eyes widening with glee. "She said your name! Levi! She finally said your name!"

"I'm not sure that was my name," Levi muttered, though his cheeks were darkening, a smile forming against his will.  Eren elbowed him, crouching down to look at Carla face-to-face.

"Can you say it again, love? Levi!" Eren waited, hands on his knees, and Carla's large brown eyes stared at him, the smile gone from her face. She now looked as if Eren had said something rather stupid, and Eren sighed.

"She gets that from you, you know. She has your _I am unamused with your idiocy_ face down pat," he said, looking up at Levi. The man only gave him the same stare, and Eren rolled his eyes, straightening up and fixing his cap.

"Can we go now? I really want to get out of these robes."

* * *

"Oh fuck," Eren gasped, biting into the tender flesh of his forearm as Levi knelt over him, slick fingers stroking him with an expertise that never failed to drive Eren crazy, but a hand closed around his wrist, pulling his arm away from his mouth.

"Armin and Mikasa have Carla tonight," Levi reminded him. "I want to hear every. Little. Noise. You. Make." Each word was emphasized with a twist of his wrist, lighting up Eren's body with pleasure. Levi pinned Eren's arm down, grinding down so that their cocks slid wetly against each other.

"Levi," Eren gasped, arching up into Levi's body, fingers clawing at the sheets. Levi looked down at him, raising an eyebrow even as he rubbed his thumb along the head of Eren’s cock.

"What is it, lover?" he asked. "Do you want me to stop?"

"More!" Eren begged, shameless. "I want more, fuck."

Levi sat forward, holding Eren's cock steady as he sank down, throwing his head back and giving a low groan of approval as Eren filled him up. Eren bent his legs, heels scrambling to find purchase as he felt the tight heat surround him, his breath hitching with broken sobs.

"Is this what you wanted?" Levi asked, breathless. Eren nodded, reaching out to pull Levi down for a kiss, desperate and wet and messy.

"You, I want you," Eren pleaded. Levi smiled, his fingers carding through Eren's hair as he lifted himself up, almost pulling completely off of Eren before sinking back down. He played Eren's body with a familiarity brought about by time, and without having to worry about waking Carla, Eren gave in to the broken pleas, crying out and letting Levi hear how much he enjoyed the older man's attention, how much he loved the way Levi rode him, how much he loved _Levi._

"I love you!" he said, reaching up and wrapping his arms around Levi, thrusting up into his body even as he kissed Levi. "I love you so much!"

"I love you too, Eren," Levi said, tracing the line of Eren's jaw with his fingers before shifting his hips. Eren reached between them, stroking Levi until he was crying out and coating Eren's stomach with his release. Eren followed not long after, the passage spasming around his cock bringing him to his end. 

Sweaty and exhausted, he flopped back on the bed, Levi pulling off and cleaning both of them up before coming to lie next to Eren, head resting on a broad shoulder. Eren wrapped his arm around Levi, pulling him closer and pressing a kiss to his lips with a smile.

"I love you," Eren repeated, calmer, less desperate. Levi shifted closer, throwing a leg over Eren's hip and sighing contently. Levi didn't answer, but he didn't need to. Eren would enjoy this calm peace while it lasted, as Carla would come home the next day, and they'd be back to juggling a baby and their relationship. Eren would also need to figure out what he was going to do with his life now that he was done with high school. But that could wait until tomorrow, Eren decided, pulling Levi closer as he fell asleep. For now, he'd simply enjoy this moment of grace that Levi always brought with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> [Follow me on Tumblr!](http://annoyinglittletwit.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

>  **  
> **  
> [Find me on Tumblr!](annoyinglittletwit.tumblr.com)  
>  I will be tracking the tags  
> fic: Moments of Grace ; fic: MoG


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